Child Sex Abuse: 3 Ways to Protect a Child
The media's erupted with news of William Vahey, who some name among the worst known child sexual predators. For 40 years, Vahey, who was married with two grown sons, used his position as a trusted teacher at international schools to serially drug, molest and photograph as many as 90 young boys.
A stolen computer flash drive exposed his decades of abuse as he moved from one international school to another in Europe and Asia. As the FBI closed in on him, Vahey took his life.
If only that were the end of the story. The truth is, it's the beginning of a years-long process of healing for his victims and their families and just one more in a series of all-too-similar tales.
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Last month was Child Abuse Prevention Month, and never has there been a more important time to wear the blue ribbons, to stand in the fight for the health and safety of our children. Each person as a story, so do the combined statistics:
- Last year in Texas alone 66,398 children fell victim to child abuse.
- 60 percent of those were younger than 6 years old.
- 156 children died of abuse in Texas.
And that's one state of 50.
Who can sit by now? And how can we protect our children from predators? No system is failsafe, but there are ways you can put a dent in those stats.
First, if you suspect it report it. If a child is in physical danger, if his or her overall well-being appears threatened, if you are simply uncomfortable with something you see . . . make a call. Call Child Protective Services (CPS-often called Social Services, Human Services or Children and Family Services). If you fear immediate danger for a child, call police or 911 immediately.
Second, help disrupt the cycle of abuse. Many abusers were themselves abused; they lack the skills or life mentors to model healthy parenting and relational behaviors. So we support local advocacy and family service agencies. Parents able and willing to learn from mental health professionals and parenting educators will gain resources, direction, encouragement, support. (Poverty and abuse feed one another. Poverty, says the American Humane Association, is the single best predictor of child abuse and neglect. Add a parent's depression, substance abuse and social isolation, and the likelihood of abuse shoots up.)
Third, we must help the victims. The hard truth is survivors of childhood abuse and neglect likely face long-term challenges. Many abused and neglected children grow into teenagers and adults who struggle with trust and intimacy issues, develop unhealthy coping patterns such as eating disorders and addictions, engage in self-harming behaviors and may even battle anxiety or depressive disorders.
This list is not comprehensive, but problems litter the wake of abuse and neglect.
How do we disarm it – the societal time bomb? Answers: We respond to calls for help. We advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves. To significantly reduce tragic stories and statistics, we educate ourselves about how to protect children. And when we see or know of something amiss, we must step into the gap and cry out.
On the flip side, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services lists six factors that spell prevention – healthy circumstances to encourage:
1. Children must experience nurturing relationships and have healthy attachments to parents and other family members and friends.
2. Parents must be knowledgeable about good, healthy parenting and child development.
3. Parents must be resilient, seeking resources and support to provide a healthy environment.
4. Parents and children must have strong and healthy social connections.
5. Concrete support must exist for parents.
6. Children must be socially and emotionally competent, which results from the knowledge and resiliency of parents.
How many more William Vaheys must suffer? Child Abuse Prevention Month reminds us to be both vigilant and to take action. Now is the time to make a difference in children's lives and your world. Learn about agencies like CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) and become a child advocate. Help parents find support resources, especially when you're aware of a history of abuse or the family struggles with poverty. Become a friend--help parents who need support. Get involved and speak up for children. You could save a life. You could change worlds.
