How to 'Take a Stand' on Sensitive Topics
God's Word, the Bible, is truth. It doesn't just contain truth. It is truth. And because it is truth, flowing from the mind and heart of an ever-gracious God, it is the kind of truth that sets people free.
In our current era, the surrounding culture is exerting pressure as never before upon evangelicalism to change and compromise its message – to adapt its theology to accommodate the ebb and flow of what is popular and to the opinion that has consensus. I've seen tweeted way too many times lately that Christians "are on the wrong side of history" on certain social issues.
What secular thinkers (as well as "progressive" evangelical, emergent, and liberal Christian thinkers) fail to understand is the power of our basic presupposition. IF the Bible is indeed a special revelation from God – a body of divinely revealed truth (which is a completely reasonable framework) then we don't have the option of dissecting it to determine which parts are to be believed.
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At the same time, we aren't called to remain in a spirit of bitterness about opposing views. When we aren't careful with our spirits, we wind up misrepresenting the very nature of grace in how we choose to stand for truth. For example, most of the time when I hear Christians repeat popular catch phrases like, "love the sinner, hate the sin," I know that the person saying it presumes their hearer understands the meaning behind both phrases. Unfortunately, we rarely actually communicate what we think we mean.
There has to be a better way – a way to boldly and honestly stand for truth without compromise while at the same time being sensitive to the feelings and differences of opinion represented in those with whom we find ourselves in disagreement.
I don't presume to get the balance right all the time. I've been guilty of falling of this high wire on both sides. But through my many mistakes, I've developed a philosophy about how to communicate about sensitive topics in way that honors truth and shows grace.
Choose Conversation Over Combat
In combat mode, we get into our bunkers and defend ourselves against the enemy (even when the enemy is merely a perceived enemy). From our bunkers, we aim our artillery and seek to pound into the opposition our position as victors. We demand surrender without condition and we'll leave people bloody on the battlefield to accomplish our mission.
This war-like language may represent an appropriate way to do spiritual battle with the satanic forces that be, but it's no way to approach fellow humans when we are all ultimately guilty sinners and recipients of the same grace of God.
But in conversation, we become vulnerable. We crawl out of our bunkers and meet at the table set in the middle of the battlefield. We call a ceasefire and genuinely try to hear where the other side is coming from. I often wonder, as I silently observe cultural debates happening on the social web, if anyone is really interested in listening. Everyone seems to have plenty to say though.
Sometimes, choosing combat prevents us from ever having the conversation that might just bring healing, or at least understanding.
Choose Conviction Over Compromise
Grace matters a great deal. One of our core values at Grace Hills Church is that "everybody belongs." And by everybody, we mean every color, every shape, and people with every kind of story and background imaginable. We've met people who are gay. Others have had abortions. Many have been divorced. Some are recovering drug, alcohol, or sex addicts. The list goes on.
I strongly believe that the church ought to be a soft place to land for people with every kind of story. Anyone, from any walk of life should find a welcoming community in which to start over, to heal, and to grow. We're all broken sinners, after all, for whom Jesus died without prejudice. His love and forgiveness are offered without condition.
But… while we have the utmost compassion for every sin struggle, I find that we still manage to offend some people because we won't compromise the truth of scripture to spare feelings. For some, it isn't enough that we accept people who struggle with sin. The only acceptable compromise is that we put an "okay" stamp on the sin itself.
We want the chance to show genuine love to people, but we can't claim to represent the truth of Scripture on behalf of the broken and at the same time water down its message of repentance, which is the root of real life change.
Choose Compassion Over Condemnation
So we should choose to listen in love before speaking in anger. And we should show love and stand for truth without compromise. A third way to approach sensitive subjects is to refuse to become judge, jury, and spiritual executioner. Or to put it another way – we are never qualified to assess the deeper spiritual condition of someone's heart.
I think the "judge not" verses of the Bible are often abused by people who don't understand their context. The Bible actually encourages us to be discerning about truth and error, about sin and danger, about heresy and orthodoxy. So there isn't anything "judgmental" about agreeing with God that something is sin according to the Bible. Where we often travel beyond this boundary, though, is when we start sizing up someone else's heart as if we have divine insight into someone's past, their conscience, and their very motives.
Someone will inevitably want to bring up Jesus' words in which He said, "you shall know them by their fruits." But He was speaking more of which side of the gospel of grace false teachers fall on. He wasn't admonishing us to look at someone's behaviors and determine how God should define and deal with them.
When we sneer at sinners, we ignore the deep pain that often led to the sin to begin with, and we usually do it to make ourselves feel better. Compassion drives us to want to rescue and heal rather than abandon those who are drowning in sin.
We can't avoid sensitive topics. We can't capitulate to a culture that has no firm grounding in absolute truth. And we shouldn't use truth as a weapon against fellow sinners. Or as Anne Lamott put it, "You don't always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too."
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Brandon Cox became a pastor at age nineteen and has served in that role in small churches, as well at Saddleback Church, one of America's largest and most influential churches. He's now planting Grace Hills Church in northwest Arkansas. Brandon also serves as editor, mentor, and community facilitator for Pastors.com and Rick Warren's Pastor's Toolbox, one of the world's largest online communities of church leaders. He's an avid, top 100 blogger (according to Kent Shaffer's semiannual list) and lives in Bentonville, Arkansas with his wife, Angie, and their three awesome kids. His book "Rewired" covers "How Using Today's Technology Can Bring You Back to Deeper Relationships, Real Conversations, and Powerful Ways to Share God's Love."
