Women And Workplace Sabotage: Christian Author Sophia A. Nelson Talks 'Sisterhood;' Shares Wisdom in New Book 'The Woman Code'
Award winning journalist and author Sophia A. Nelson recently spoke about the importance of sisterhood, particularly as it relates to women and workplace sabotage.
Nelson, 47, has extensive experience working in corporate America, previously as a senior attorney with Holland & Knight and currently as a corporate leadership trainer for Fortune 500 companies.
On Tuesday she released her second book The Woman Code: 20 Powerful Keys To Unlock Your Life, which was endorsed by media mogul Arianna Huffington. In it she shares common sense advice about sisterhood and how women can achieve more and live more fulfilling lives by sticking together.
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"Sisterhood is not a trite word. I think we throw it around too much. We often say 'you're my sister' and 'you're my girl' but I don't think we really know what that means," Nelson told The Christian Post exclusively. "To me sisterhood is a collaboration versus competition. It doesn't mean you can't compete (competition is healthy), but you never tear another woman down."
A number of studies on women's attitudes and behavioral patterns towards other women have shown women in leadership roles often mistreat other women in order to maintain their positions of power.
Nelson, who has witnessed such "mean" behavior at work, believes that the mistreatment stems from fear. She says that in order for women to have successful careers they actually need to build each other up and not sabotage one another.
"I think that we get in our own way because we operate from a place of lack," Nelson said. "When you go into a workplace, to your college classroom, or law school (whatever it is)–and say 'I'm the only one in the room' and 'it's got to be about me and my success' and 'every woman in here is my competition' – that's where the problem starts."
Nelson shared that women must get past their own selfish needs and insecurities in order to thrive. The political analyst for MSNBC and White House correspondent for JET Magazine says women must change the way they view other women and that issues arise when women view "other woman as the enemy instead of looking at the other woman and saying 'there's a really big pie out here, all of us can have a piece.'"
She credits her Christian faith for helping her embrace sisterhood and live out the very codes listed in her book.
"I'm a firm believer as a woman of faith and as a Christian, that what's for me is for me," she said. "What God has for me He has for me. I can't take what's for you and you can't take what's for me. And when we operate in that space we operate in a whole different mind set of what it means to be a sister."
Men, she says, have it all figured out and women can learn a lot from the opposite sex.
"I think there are great things we can learn from men. They don't get caught up in the gossipy drama that we do. Men say 'you won, I lost but I'll work for you and help you. Let's go get a coffee or let's go play golf' [and] they're over it," she said. "Not us. When we hate someone or we're mad, we hate her for life. We tell 10 of our friends to hate her. It's silly!"
In the book Nelson acknowledges that not all women will get along all of the time, however, she stresses the importance of simply respecting one another.
"There are people I don't like but I don't have to gossip about them (code number 9)," she shared. "I don't have to tear them down. Leave another woman alone, if she's not your cup of tea be ok with that and wish her well. We need to be kind and just decent."
You ever sat next to somebody in church that was fine and you couldn't wait for the preacher to say, "touch your neighbor"? Y'all lyin! LOL!
— Jonathan YPJ Miller (@PastorYPJ) February 8, 2011
