God-Sized Forgiveness: The Incredible Story of Ozzie
I told myself that if He truly loved me, He wouldn't have let this happen to me and my family. My hatred for the man who did this had turned towards God, and honestly I was beginning to have thoughts of suicide. I was a complete wreck and ready to give up until, I went to a weekend student retreat with my youth group at Alto Frio Camp in Leakey, TX.
The speaker was Shane Pruitt and he was speaking to us about our forgiveness from the Lord, our call to forgive others, and the need to let go of bitterness. I knew that I needed to forgive the man who had gunned down my mom, and who had shot me trying to kill me as well.
Holding a grudge against him was only harming me. I talked to Shane for a while after the worship service, and that night it felt like a load of bricks had been lifted off of my chest. Jesus had forgiven me of my sins that had nailed Him to the cross, and because of that, I knew I could finally and truly forgive the man who murdered my mom. I no longer had to carry around the burden of bitterness, because I left that weight at the foot of the cross that very night.
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Going through this horrifying event has molded me into the person I am today. I do, however, suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). This means that I get flashbacks of what happened that day at random times, certain smells will cause flashbacks, random gunshots, fireworks and other unexpected noises will frighten me, and sometimes even hearing sirens will make my heart race.
Obviously, I would have planned things differently, but the Lord has used this to teach me so much about valuing every single breath, forgiveness, courage, and how to never take anything in my life for granted. Because of Jesus, I am stronger than I ever thought possible and my relationship with Him is stronger than ever.
Lately, I've even been given opportunities to share my story by speaking to others. I get to speak about how the Lord has used this in my life to teach me so much about forgiveness — His forgiveness towards me and my forgiveness towards others, even the man who murdered my mom. It's hard for the world to understand, but I feel so blessed to have the life that I have today.
October 6, 2012 was by far the worst day of my life. But, it most certainly will not be the day that breaks me, or causes me to lose my faith. It was just an extremely difficult day in the joy-filled journey that God has prepared for me."
I, Shane, after hearing this story stood in front of this teenage girl with my mouth gaping open. Incredible!
Naturally, people don't like to, and frankly, don't want to forgive. We want to hold on to the bitterness, because we think, "If I forgive them, then I'm condoning their actions. I'm saying what they did is 'OK'." But, that is not true at all; God is the judge and He will judge appropriately. Bitterness, lack of forgiveness, and grudges will often harm the one holding on to them the most.
However, forgiveness says, "You can't destroy me, end me, or hinder me any longer because my God heals. He is better than bitterness."
It also shows the world that we truly understand how much God has forgiven us.
Plus, let's be honest. Most of our unforgiveness and bitterness is caused by some really silly and trivial situations. However, there are stories like Ozzie's, stories that involve true victims. In these kinds of stories, forgiveness can only come from God, because it takes a God-sized forgiveness. And, it's in stories like this that we can see ourselves and our own situation more clearly.
If Ozzie can forgive a man who murdered her mother, can't I forgive the transgressors in my own life?
"Forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive (Colossians 3:13b)."
Originally posted at alreadyam.com.
