How to Be 16 and Innocent

By Lane Palmer, Christian Post Guest Columnist Friday, July 24, 2009

Does anyone find it just a little bit odd and humorously ironic that the show about the negative consequences on unwed and unwanted pregnancies is aired on MTV???

Just to put it in perspective:

In 171 hours of MTV programming, analysts found 1,548 sexual scenes containing 3,056 depictions of sex or various forms of nudity and 2,881 verbal sexual references. That means that children watching MTV are viewing an average of 9 sexual scenes per hour with approximately 18 sexual depictions and 17 instances of sexual dialogue or innuendo. (www.parentstv.org)

So in other words, for 167 hours a week, MTV blares out a "Hey kids! Have sex and have sex, and after having had sex, have more sex! Oh and don't worry about the consequences, because of course we'll never show that part!"

Then one hour a week: "Look kids! If you're 16 and pregnant, there's a bunch of bad stuff that gets dumped in your life!"

Isn't this sort of like a cable channel sponsored by the American Beef Council having a weekly show about the health benefits of being a vegetarian?

And in a related quirk of fate, MTV.com links to Stayteen.com, which links to Truelovewaits.com
- which effectively is like finding a Bible inside a Maxim Magazine.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that someone out there is finally revealing the dozens of reasons why it's a bad move to have a kid when you still are a kid. And if you've watched 16 and Pregnant, there is definitely a common pattern of "What the heck was I thinking???" moments.

But the other type of moments that the show regularly delivers is an "I can't believe I'm pregnant" vibe from some of the girls. Now, perhaps I wasn't paying attention in Health Education class, but doesn't getting pregnant involve at least a couple phases that aren't typically accidental? So for pregnancy to take someone by surprise is, well, quite surprising to me.

I think the shocker moments arrive when what started as relatively innocent affection transforms into an overpowering chain of events that the Creator of the Universe intended to occur in the context of marriage.

Which then begs the question: how far is too far? And if I had a dime for every time I was asked this question, I would be retired and living in a Cabana in Cancún.

Surprisingly, the Bible is somewhat silent on the subject of where couples should draw the line. Obviously God condemns sex outside of marriage because He wants you to enjoy and experience it to its full potential, but what about those "phases" we talked about earlier?

Well, perhaps you weren't expecting this, but God's Word is crystal clear on when to cool your jets:

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathens, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).

So how does this passage define the line? You have to look closely or you'll miss it. Most people define "sexual immorality" as sex, but in fact it begins much earlier than the technical definition you learned in school and see referenced on MTV every 3.5 seconds.

According to God's amazing blueprint for sex, sexual immorality begins the moment affection turns into lust, and yes, any "turned on" exploration outside of marriage is defined as lust. So in other words, it is "too far" when you follow your sexual impulses.

So what's up with God? Is it so bad to violate His perfect plan? Well, when you think about it, His whole motive for having such a strict line before marriage is for your benefit and the honor of your future spouse. Every moment invested in feeding your illegitimate sexual hunger is a moment stolen from your future that would have bonded you with your husband or wife. Instead, you will pay a price, which is typically a feeling of guilt, and I can guarantee you it will start the process of your relationship disintegration.

Haven't you noticed that when a couple starts dating, it's all fun and enjoyment until they start getting physical? Then you see the fighting, the gossip, and eventually the break up.

So please consider the advice I'm giving you…you simply cannot go against God's design for sex and win. You may be called names and considered an idiot because you're not going with the flow of the hook up/friends-with-benefits crowd, but believe me, that flow is headed straight into the relationship sewer.

The best way to avoid sexual immorality is just that…avoid it. You know when the temperature is rising, and that's the time to split the scene and leave it clean.

Trust me, God will bless you, your future spouse will thank you, and you can focus your mental energy on reaching your friends for Christ, instead of raising a baby.

Flashpoint: Ignite Into Action

Ask your friends how life would be different if they were suddenly given the responsibility of parenthood. Use that as an opportunity to ask them why they think Jesus used the term "born again" in John 3:3, as a description of the Christian life, and how God becomes our heavenly Parent when we trust Christ. Pray for an opportunity to share the gospel.

Accelerant section: Feed the Fire

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander (Matthew 15:19).

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy (Romans 13:13).

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).