5 Difficult Suicide-Related Situations and How to Handle Them With Humility
Sheila Walsh, an internationally known singer at Billy Graham Crusades and former co-host of the 700 Club, says, "In the morning I was seen across the nation on TV and that night I was locked in a ward of a psychiatric hospital at the age of 34." She honestly believed that her life was over and things were hopeless as she spiraled into darkness and a nervous breakdown.
But like Jimmy Stewart's character in "It's a Wonderful Life", God brought her back from the brink and today she's the author of "Life is Tough but God is Faithful" speaking at conferences and ministering hope to multitudes who may be right on life's edge.
Famous Christian leaders like Charles Spurgeon, David Brainard, J B Phillips, Abraham Lincoln and CS Lewis battled depression. When Mr. Lewis's beloved wife died he wrote "A Grief Observed" under a pseudonym lest anybody discover his near despair.
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In these perilous times, may we nurture a culture of transparency so no one has to hide the struggles within. And as caring Christians, may we be ambassadors of hope and understanding in these sensitive areas.
3. Accidental Suicide
A movie currently in your multiplex is, "Sin City." It's based on extremely dark, graphic novels featuring people being slaughtered sadistically. Their slogan is "Sin City. Come for the fun – stay for your funeral." This is the sad reality for scores of pleasure-seekers today.
A few days ago I spoke with a young man in his mid-20s who is married with a little daughter. Inquiring how he met his mate, he told me that both of them were committed into a psych ward after each had attempted suicide. Between the two of them there were five divorces among parents and sinful patterns that brought them to the point of despair. God miraculously saved them and after they were married they embraced the call of God on their lives for ministry to reach young people.
What about multitudes, especially young people, who are seduced by the allurements of our culture and before they hear the gospel (or having responded previously are drifting) spiral off into drugs, alcohol, recklessness and deviant sexual practices that destroy lives? Burdened by guilt, shame and the inevitable consequences of sin, they attempt suicide to escape.
This is a delicate one. As a child had they experienced a genuine conversion and now were in a wayward state? [Don't dismiss childhood conversions as our son who is currently pastoring in Georgia came to Christ when he was three!]
With drug experimentation, did things go awry and an overdose occurred that was not really a suicide at all?
Was a son, daughter or spouse attempting to get the attention of loved ones and their threat became a tragic, accidental reality? I thank God that He spared a dear friend whose marriage I officiated years after she had been rescued by God after ingesting 90 Advil in a moment of foolish desperation.
Was it a prank that backfired? A father once told me that his son viewed "Schindler's List" and later decided to scare his brother by reenacting a hanging. Tragically his brother found him hanging by the noose, which suffocated him.
Because of pornography and rampant perversion in our culture, some people are found in suicidal hangings or at least that's what observers initially conclude. Actually they've engaged in erotic asphyxiation that backfired. You may recall David Carradine the actor who was found hanging in the closet in an apparent suicide but later it was ruled "accidental erotic asp."
In situations like these, one should be very tenderhearted and careful with what is communicated. While we don't want to give false assurance, we mustn't alienate grieving friends and relatives either. I usually state something like this: "In this painful time of grieving, let's reflect on the positives, in his/her life. We can trust God who is all loving and just. What is critical now is what we can individually learn from the situation plus make sure our relationship is right with the living God. If the deceased could return, that would be their top concern, I'm sure."
4. Avoidance Suicide
IMPORTANT PREFACE:
Approaching this area, let me state up front that I am NOT advocating anything, but simply addressing something that happens and shouldn't be avoided in this topic. Consider an example.
Some who have concussions and find themselves in highly stressful situations may not respond ideally. They can exhibit dramatic mood swings, confusion, sleep deprivation and act out of character.
"Pressure reveals the person" but if the person is in a weakened state they may choose avoidance at a critical time. My appeal is that we don't heartlessly condemn people to eternal damnation when God calls us to be understanding. My friend and prophetic teacher James Goll told me regarding suicide questions, "My views have adjusted some in recent years. They used to be pretty black and white but I've adjusted some. Only God ultimately knows."
Peter denied the Lord three times but was not disqualified. He later was designated to preach the Pentecost sermon birthing the church!
Let's proceed knowing "our God is able" in every circumstance; the Hebrews 11 "Hall of Fame" remains an inspiration; and, no one is suggesting the "easy way out" (like Saul) when faced with imminent death.
After the Bible, one of the classics that have profoundly influenced Christians for centuries is "Fox's Book of Martyrs." Reading the accounts of believers undergoing unbelievable persecution and yet shining as beacon lights inspires leaders in every generation.
Knowing "Dying grace does not come until the dying hour" and that "God's grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9), this fourth situation requires acute sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. May we never have to face the persecution others do in the world, but it's important we be prepared even as we believe God can supernaturally rescue anyone in any circumstance at any time.
If someone faces extreme, brutal savagery leading to an inevitable, torturous death, might God in His all-encompassing mercy make allowance for somebody bringing his life to an end? For those who believe that suicide is always murder warranting eternal damnation, please consider the following.
Last week in Virginia I had a meeting with a long-standing Christian leader. He related to me the unbelievable persecution Christians face in North Korea. I will be discreet but he described imprisoned Christians brought out into the open and raped, giving birth and having their newborns thrown to the dogs before their eyes.
"Voice of the Martyrs" publication has communicated scenes like the following: Christians are martyred in one nation by being made to lie down on the pavement and slowly and systematically having their feet then legs then torso crushed by heavy vehicles in hard-to-imagine, agonizing killings.
With ISIS in Iraq where individuals are openly beheaded, women and children are hacked to death and men face unfathomable, torturous deaths if they will not convert to Islam, do you think God extends mercy to some who fall on a sword, drink poison or flee knowing they will be immediately gunned down?
If someone is overwhelmed by terror dreading a savage, inevitable death and cries out to God in repentance for ending their life, do you really believe God would sentence them to hell? Can the God who forgave Moses, David and Paul for their participation in murder extend mercy in these types of extenuating and excruciating circumstances?
Islamic suicide-bombers who believe in Jihad believe they have automatic assurance of heaven and 72 virgins for their suicide. This is deception.
I for one don't believe it's deception to believe that persecuted and incapacitated Christians in certain circumstances can be reprieved for hastening inevitable death to be ushered into the presence of the living God.
5. Physician Assisted Suicide
In 1976 I got married. That same year I also had a book in my possession by Dr. Francis Schaeffer entitled, How Should We Then Live? The title comes from Ezekiel 33:10 which is an urgent prophetic warning for America today.
The book changed my life. For over 42 years in full-time vocational ministry I have lived it's message. The frightening part is that the warning given by Francis Schaeffer is unfolding before our eyes yet more people know about the marriage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie than this reality.
