9 Practical Lessons on Repentance & Forgiveness: Leadership Culture (Pt. 2)
7. FORGIVE THOSE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE THEY HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU.
It is very disheartening when you want to sit down with someone and practice Jesus' instructions given in Matthew 18, but they do not believe they have sinned against you and refuse to meet. What should you do? Forgive them. You do not need someone to tell you they are sorry in order to forgive them. One of the most prominent teachers on forgiveness and redemption would not meet with me after he sinned against me. I had to decide whether I would become bitter and harbor resentment toward this person or if I would forgive and pray for him. By the power of the Holy Spirit, I obeyed Christ's command to forgive, because this is exactly what Jesus has done with my sin against him.
As a leader, this point will not be easy for you, as it hasn't been for me either. You are eager to sit down with someone with whom you had direct contact, who sinned against you, and discuss it with them. However, this is something you simply have to lay down at the cross of Jesus.
8. ACCEPT THAT REPENTANCE DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN RECONCILIATION.
Many times I have seen repentance and forgiveness take place, without reconciliation. The damage that the offense caused is oftentimes too great to have full restoration and reconciliation, especially immediately. You need to accept this possible reality as part of our broken, fallen world. The relationship you once had with a person will never be the same, but you need to do everything you can to repent, forgive, and live peaceably with your brother or sister (Rom. 12:18, Heb. 12:14).
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9. OUTDO ONE ANOTHER IN SHOWING HONOR.
Sometimes when we forgive, it is with gritting teeth and white knuckles. What would happen if we applied Romans 12:10, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor," specifically and purposefully to those who have hurt us, rejected us, slandered us, maligned us, blogged about us, figuratively thrown stones at us. Think about the person whom the Holy Spirit has brought to mind, and ask the Lord how you can love that person and "outdo" them in showing honor to them. And remember that is exactly what Christ did for you: he loved you and outdid you in showing you honor as he presented you to the Father as holy, blameless, and above reproach (Col. 1:23).
The points above describe realistic issues that arise when attempting to live a life of repentance and forgiveness. But what about theoretical issues that arise? Words like sin, repentance, and forgiveness are at the core of our Christian faith. Unfortunately, we cannot assume that every Christian understands or agrees upon the meanings or applications of those doctrines. Church leaders often do not clearly communicate the meanings of these foundational and weighty words. And when a crisis hits, the church staff and the church body can have disagreements over them that have huge ramifications.
Stay tuned for the next post in this series for helpful ways you can safeguard your church from these damaging disagreements.
This article was originally posted here.
