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BDS Activists Enter the Wrong BDSM Meeting

Pro-Palestinian protest on a college campus.
Pro-Palestinian protest on a college campus. | (Photo: Screengrab/YouTube/Legal Insurrection)

Ahmed and his college-aged American friends have long considered themselves to be committed supporters of Palestinian solidarity.

The young college student joined the Boycott Divestment Sanctions Movement in the hopes of forcing Israel to end the occupation of the Palestinian Territories.

"We boycott a lot of stuff to fight Israeli Apartheid," said Ahmed. "I haven't eaten hummus, fired an uzi, or used a mobile phone in years. No sacrifice is too great for the BDS Movement."

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However, when trying to attend a recent BDS meeting at the Fritz Hotel, the absence of mobile phones meant the friends had to rely on written instructions from a left-handed person.

They were doomed.

Instead of gathering at the Fritz Hotel, Ahmed and his friends arrived at the nearby Grand Mandrake Hotel and into a meeting room that was nothing like what they expected.

"We knew we were running late," recalled Ahmed. "But Mike saw a paper sign posted by the door that simply read 'BDSM.' We assumed that was us."

A woman reads E.L. James' 'Fifty Shades of Grey' erotica book.
A woman reads E.L. James' "Fifty Shades of Grey" erotica book. | (Photo: Creative Commons)

Sally, a friend of Ahmed who works at a nearby café, was the first to notice something amiss about the meeting they shuffled into.

"When they were talking so much about victimization, submission, and domination, I assumed we were at the right place," said Sally.

"But when I mentioned West Bank and Gaza, I got a bunch of blank stares from people. And then one of them said something like 'roleplaying' and then the others started nodding. I thought roleplaying was a fantasy board game term."

When he got to talking about why he came to the meeting, Ahmed also got a strange vibe from his mostly leather-clad audience.

"As I described Israel's abuse of Palestinian prisoners in detail, I thought their enthusiasm was over their collective agreement in the righteousness of our cause," said Ahmed.

"But then I realize they were a little too into it. You know what I mean? Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging, but yeah. Too into it, way too into it."

Ahmed remembered that many in the meeting started to say things like Israel was a very, very naughty state and deserved to be punished.

It took the group about 30 minutes before one of them realized that they were in the wrong place. What did not help the process was that whenever one of them doubted, they asked the group if it was "the BDS meeting."

In an interview Mistress Ballistic explained that she was OK with the guests coming even if by mistake, saying that "we always welcome strangers."

"Actually, I think we learned a lot from them," noted the Mistress, who exchanged contact information with the activists and promised to keep in touch. No, not that type of touch.

"I told them, if you ever stage a protest that requires reenacting the torture of freedom fighters let me know. Politics is so sexy, at least that's what many of my friends in Congress tell me."

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