Christian Men Struggling With Homosexuality Find Refuge in 'Your Other Brothers' Storytelling Project
Little did two millennial men know that when they independently Googled "Christians struggling with homosexuality" in utter desperation that a band of brothers would be forged because of their unwanted sexual desires.
Tom Zuniga, 29, and Elliott Gladwin, 28, who have experienced same-sex attractions since their youth, didn't know each other whatsoever when they first entered that phrase into a search engine in 2008 in their respective homes in states miles apart. But by God's providence they ended up meeting after they stumbled upon a Xanga blogring where several Christian men with the same issue were sharing their stories and struggles.
Those shared stories and the friendships that formed would prove to be more meaningful and healing than either one of them could have ever imagined.
Get Our Latest News for FREE
When Xanga went defunct in 2013, the men later reconnected on Your Other Brothers, a website Zuniga and Gladwin launched in November 2015. YOB is comprised of over a dozen writers, and the bloggers on the site are Christian men who experience same-sex attractions — some of them have acted out sexually while others are chaste — to varying degrees. Earlier this year, Gladwin and Zuniga created a podcast by the same name, the first episode of which aired on Aug. 8.
Readers and listeners should be prepared for some of the rawest, most painful stories about their experiences with homosexuality, an extremely touchy subject no doubt. But their journeys are animated by the hope they have in Jesus Christ.
Gladwin and Zuniga told The Christian Post in a recent interview that they want same-sex attracted Christian men to know one thing: You don't have to experience this alone, and we're inviting you into our stories as we take this journey navigating faith, homosexuality, and masculinity together.
And what does the name "Your Other Brothers" mean?
"No. 1, we are saying to other believers out there who struggle with their sexuality, 'We are your other brothers, you're not alone, there are others just like you." Gladwin said. "You have brothers in the faith who are like you. And you may know that they exist, but we're here."
"And No. 2, is to the Church," he added. "We are your other brothers in the faith, there are people like us who deal with these kinds of issues in your churches. And you may not realize this or you may think we're some far off weird people, but we're among you and we're your other brothers."
Theological nuances abound among YOB bloggers, some of whom write under a pseudonym, but all hold fast to the historic Christian view of biblical sexual ethics. They believe the only kind of sex God blesses is that which is expressed in covenant marriage between a man and a woman.
"We felt a burden upon our hearts," Zuniga said. "What are the people out there who Google the same Google search we did, what are they finding?
"And the reality is that they will probably find just a bunch or heated articles or debates from both sides of this issue, and voices yelling at them. But nobody really hearing honest, genuine stories of what it's like to pursue God in light of wrestling with these struggles."
Unafraid to go deep into the waters where few like to wade, YOB writes show great courage as they unpack their deepest secrets, but none of them are out to air their proverbial dirty laundry just for the sake of airing it.
Articles likely to provoke much conversation and reflection have the following titles: "How My Friends Helped Me De-Sexualize Men," "Hungry for Male Touch," and "Marginalized by My Church."
Gladwin, who writes with incredible transparency on YOB, detailed a life-changing moment that occurred when he dared open up to a new male friend about his struggle with same-sex attraction and the friend threw his arms around him "well past the 'normal' hug length."
"It was a bit awkward at first, but it felt so good," Gladwin recounts in a blog on the website. "Then something within me broke, and it broke hard. I started weeping uncontrollably — as if there was a secret well of unshed tears that had been locked for 20 years, deep inside my soul, and the combination to the lock was the security of an unrelenting embrace."
For men who fight homosexual inclinations, Gladwin notes that one can never underestimate the power of a hug from a man given in pure affection. Also posted on the website is a moving Spoken Word video.
Neither Zuniga nor Gladwin is a fan of the revisionist sexual ethics being furthered in some Christian circles and strongly disagree with authors, popular bloggers, and even some intellectual heavyweights who argue that the Christian faith affirms certain kinds of same-sex unions.
"I think their views are completely unfounded biblically," Gladwin said, with regard to sex and marriage. "Look into the language, it's always male and female."
"The problem is that we're projecting our modern understanding into history and upon other cultures. And so that's why people are looking at Jesus and John, or David and Jonathan and saying, 'Oh, look they're homosexual,' when really it is just because we have this wrong lens."
"We need to understand what their true, biblical male intimacy meant, what real covenant relationships look like, what healthy, godly expressions of love look like. Because men are starving for it."
