Godly Giving VIII

'Just for Single Parents'

By Bob Louder, Christian Post Contributor Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Intro

Single parents need help with their finances! Consider these statistics:

• Half of all marriages end in divorce.
• Forty percent of all pastors' marriages end in divorce.
• Forty percent of our children are growing up without fathers.
• Forty-nine percent of American children live in single parent homes—most with single moms.
• Most (53%) single moms earn less than $15,000 per year and 17% earn less than $5,000.
• Almost 90% of all welfare recipients live in single mother homes.

This is the bad news. The good news is that there is hope!

There is absolutely no way we can adequately cover this topic in one session. What we can do is touch on the three basics that surround the single parents in our churches: Singles' Needs, The Church's Responsibility, and The Singles' Responsibility. If you are a single parent, or if you know a single parent, please know that there is help beyond our time together. This is a good start, but it's only a start.

What are the main needs single parents have today?

• First and foremost is childcare. The average income in the United States today is right at $35,000 per year. The average annual income of divorcees with dependent children is slightly less than $20,000. Childcare costs can range from $300 to $500 or more per month. There is no way to balance a budget with these costs.

• Single parents need help with home and car maintenance. Single moms generally have no training to do this work themselves, much less the time or money. Basic maintenance is a big problem.

• Singles need counsel and support. And they need this counsel and support from both other singles and married couples. So many times men experiencing their "mid-life crisis" divorce their wives and marry a younger woman. This leaves a middle-aged woman with dependent children. She's single but she doesn't fit in anywhere. She doesn't fit in the young never-married-type-singles' group and she no longer fits in with the married group. Her friends are mostly couples, and couples don't ask divorced women over for dinner very often. Therefore, this single lady finds herself very isolated and alone and many times simply drops out of the church community. What a shame and what a loss. By the way, single parent dads also struggle for the same reasons.

The church has some basic responsibilities.

• The church should provide financial and spiritual counseling. There are many para-church ministries that can help. Consider Christian Financial Ministries (www.good-steward.org), Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org), and the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University (www.daveramsey.com).

• Churches can organize home and car-care ministry groups.

• Some churches work to help single parents get on a budget then charge what the budget will allow for that child care.

• Some churches organize "father-son" and "mother-daughter" picnics where men team up with fatherless children and ladies team up with children without moms.

• Many churches have housing and job referral systems specifically designed for single parents.

There is so much that churches can do.

Single parents have some responsibilities as well.

• Singles should reciprocate whenever possible. True, their resources are limited, especially their time and money. But some singles can help the church by making baked goods, babysitting or visiting shut-ins.

• Singles need to learn to live a very disciplined lifestyle to survive both financially and socially. If singles turn to the church for help, they should also expect to submit to church spiritual and financial discipline.

• Most importantly, singles must learn very quickly to shed their pride so they can share their needs. This is the hardest area to overcome. Remember, the Lord said He would tear down the house of the proud. So, unless our singles are willing to bear themselves and go before the church and ask for help, they're not likely to receive any help and both the church and the single will suffer the consequences on the day of judgment.

Concluding Thoughts

This is an important topic and it deserves much more time. But in the context of our time together, I can only pray that some of you will have your hearts touched in this area and get involved in or help start a single-parent ministry at your church.

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Bob Louder is the Founder and President of Christian Financial Ministries (www.good-steward.org). Bob is also the author of the new best selling book, "Debt Free Living God's Way," available only on the Internet (www.debtfreelivinggodsway.org). Since 1987 Bob has helped people in hundreds of churches all across the country and in the European military community learn, understand, apply and pass on "Debt Free Living God's Way" principles and practical applications. He has represented some of the top Christian financial authors and ministries to include Larry Burkett, Dave Ramsey, Christian Financial Concepts, and Crown Ministries.

Copyright 2006 Christian Financial Ministries, Inc., All Rights Reserved. You may reprint this "Special Report" in whole or in part without permission from Christian Financial Ministries, Inc. Please credit material used to Christian Financial Ministries, Inc.