'God's Not Dead' sequel to feature Christian family fighting off vaccinated atheist zombies
The latest entry into the smashing hit Christian film series “God’s Not Dead” will center on a Christian family fighting off wave upon wave of vaccinated atheist zombies, according to newly released details.
In an announcement appropriately made on April Fools' Day, Pure Pineapple Peak Productions announced its newest film, “God’s Not Dead: Over My Dead Body,” scheduled for theatrical release on June 31.
The movie follows Josh Wheaton, the young college student from the first “God’s Not Dead” film, who is now all grown up and married with children, living out in the wilds of Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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All is well until the evil government takes over, with the help of the ACLU and MSNBC, and forces every child to wear 20 facemasks at once and get vaccinated against a mysterious disease known only as Jaws-19.
The unapproved vaccine transforms countless kids and adults into mindless atheistic zombies who spread the virus.
“Get ... the … jaaaaab! Get … the … jaaaaab!” moaned the legions of undead masses as they slowly staggered toward their victims.
To save the rest of humanity, it will be up to God-fearing, gun-owning, wild outdoorsmen like the Wheaton clan to stop the zombie invasion and figure out a cure for the Jaws-19 vaccine.
Goliath A.R. Black, the producer and star of the film, said in a statement that the faith-based film is meant to showcase deep biblical Christian values.
“We want to give viewers a faith-affirming message,” said Black. “The film champions Christian values like family, faith, morality, and blowing away bad guys — Hoo-Rah!”
In addition to Black, the cast will be a mixture of Fox News personalities, relatives of the director, at least one “Duck Dynasty” family member and several actors who peaked in the 1990s.
Current and former members of the Newsboys recorded the soundtrack, which forced the production to rent out a football stadium to accommodate the whole ensemble.
“God’s Not Dead: Over My Dead Body” is already being touted by famed pillow salesman Mike Lindell.
“The newest ‘God’s Not Dead’ film will be an amazing film because it’s so true. This stuff is happening now! Right now!” declared Lindell, rabidly waving his arms around.
News of the film’s release has also prompted backlash from various figures, with several critics having trashed the movie while others have mercilessly mocked it on social media.
Snopes has already posted a series of fact checks about the film, with its “Are atheists really zombies?” entry having been shared thousands of times on Facebook as of Friday.
“False,” Snopes ruled in an article surprisingly free of plagiarism. “While some atheists are indeed mindless undead cannibals, numerous studies have shown that most atheists are actually werewolves.”
Outside one movie theatre, a small group of demonstrators belonging to the local freethinkers' society has already begun a 24-hour-a-day protest and candlelight vigil against the film.
“This movie’s stupid, really stupid. No one is persecuting Christians at all. At all!” declared one of the protesters. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go vandalize a few Catholic churches because they oppose abortion.”
In addition to its theatrical release, several non-denominational megachurches will also air “God’s Not Dead: Over My Dead Body” as part of a double feature alongside the blockbuster animated film “Veggie Tales II: The Wrath of Bob.”
WARNING: THE ARTICLE ABOVE IS A WORK OF SATIRE IN HONOR OF APRIL FOOLS' DAY. PLEASE SHARE RESPONSIBLY.
