Is It Okay for Married Christians to Take Sexy Photos of One Another?
Would it be fine if married couples took sexy photos of one another, or would this be detrimental especially if one of them suffers from pornography addiction?
Melissa Ruff from XXX Church, an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions, tried to answer this question by letting couples reflect on their need or want to do so.
"You're wondering if taking those risky photos for your husband is okay during his recovery from porn or if it will trigger him to use again. I get it. It sounds innocent enough," she wrote on their website. "Technically speaking, you are staying in the lines of what should be accepted into a marital sex life. But, there are some reasons it may be a no go."
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Ruff encourages people to question their motives behind having those photos taken. And while the answer might appear simple, more often than not, it isn't. Some might answer that they want to please their spouse, but in Ruff's case, she confessed that she actually wanted to feel "as good as" the women in porn.
"When I was in the midst of my husband's addiction to pornography, I thought that maybe having sexy photos done of myself would curb his appetite for other forms of pornography. It did none of that," she shared.
By providing her own sexy photos, Ruff said it even felt like she was giving her husband the permission to continue his porn addiction.
She also told couples to be careful because by letting their photos be taken, they might set off "internal triggers" of not feeling good enough, having no self-worth, or being nothing more than a sex object.
Moreover, Ruff warned that the photos might even become "triggers" for their spouse's addictions.
Lastly, in this age of social media and technology, Ruff said there is a chance for the photos to be leaked accidentally or hacked. If they make their way online, Ruff said people would let other people view them in a way that only their spouses should.
"All of the actual steps to have the photos need to be thought through thoroughly," she said. "Bottom line here: While there may be some gray areas, if you are looking to spice things up in the bedroom, try to always do it in the flesh together."
Meanwhile, Pastor Craig Gross made a challenge to husbands who are dealing with porn addictions to think of their wives and provide them with a support group that can help her navigate the challenges of marriage.
"Since you have a life-partner, she is also dealing with the downsides of your struggle whether she knows it or not," said Gross.
While husbands seek recovery for their own porn addictions, so should their wives recover with them. "She needs a support system that guides her towards recovery also. You can't be this for her," he said.
