Jesus Culture's Kim Walker-Smith on Battle With Postpartum Depression: Interview (Part 1)
On My Side was penned in the midst of her depression battle and along with working on the album she also continued ministering with Jesus Culture. But every night as she went on stage Walker-Smith said the enemy tried to steal her praise.
"It's really hard when you're in the hardest season of your life to continue to walk up on the stage and lead people and worship or speak or write an album, or whatever it is. Everything feels harder when you're in the middle of what feels like the toughest season of your life," she confessed. "You're doubting yourself, you're doubting God, you're hurt, you're offended, you're angry and you have all these different emotions that you're going through."
"There were times where right as I walked on stage, I would feel the accusation and the lie of the enemy. 'You're a fraud. It's not real. Look at you, you're a mess, you're in a bad season.' [But] every time, I felt the Lord come through in that moment with me [saying], 'No she's mine, she's in this with me and I'm there with her and I don't expect perfection from her at all. What I expect is a heart that says yes and is surrendered to me,'" she said.
Get Our Latest News for FREE
Walker-Smith has become one of the strongest voices in worship music with a goal to bring an entire generation into an encounter with God. She testified that in those moments of doubt she always felt the Lord protecting and fighting for her.
"So much of the worship that has come out of me in this last season has been that desperate cry for Jesus, for breakthrough.
"It's amazing because I see that the Lord really does use everything for the good of those who love Him. He is truly His Word. When you truly surrender to Him and you keep saying yes to Him. Even in the midst of all of the mess He doesn't let you down and He meets you there," she declared.
Walker-Smith said contrary to what some people might believe, God doesn't expect perfection from His children and she believes people don't expect it either. She pegged the concept behind perfection as a deception from the enemy. As one not to hide her emotions, she was always very transparent with her audience and still worshiped God through it.
"What's real is that people want authenticity, and they want to hear the journey," the recording artist noted.
When asked which record on her new solo album was her favorite, she named the song, "A Fresh Outpouring."
"It's a song that's really a prayer for the individual but also the corporate Church. We want to see a fresh outpouring of God's presence, not just in our lives and in our homes but also in our churches and our schools and workplaces," she added.
"We don't want just the same old same old, we don't want just the mundane, we want more of God! That's definitely one song that's a very sacred and precious prayer in my heart, not just for my own life, but for the church as well."
Walker-Smith is now on the road as a featured artist with Jesus Culture on the popular Outcry Tour. To get a copy of her latest album On My Side or for more information, click here.
