John Piper addresses guilt, grief and God's sovereignty after unborn baby's death
Theologian John Piper recently weighed in on God’s sovereignty and offered a biblical view of regret and forgiveness in response to a grieving mother’s question: Why did God allow her unborn child to die?
In a recent episode of the "Ask Pastor John" podcast, the woman, who had delayed an induced labor only to lose her baby in the womb, wrote to Piper, expressing grief and guilt over the death of her unborn baby: “I feel directly responsible for my child’s death,” she wrote. “I find it hard to pray. When I do, I now doubt if God still hears me. I am weighed down to the point that I feel my faith failing.”
Listen to Piper's advice on the "Ask Pastor John" podcast here
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Piper, a former pastor and the author of numerous books on faith and suffering, drew from Scripture and his own experiences to offer eight points designed to comfort the mother while encouraging her to trust in God’s sovereignty.
The 78-year-old pastor first noted that neither the mother nor anyone else could be certain whether her decision to wait for natural labor caused the baby’s death. “As much as you feel responsible, you don’t know,” Piper said. “There are too many variables. Maybe, maybe not.”
Central to Piper’s response was the belief in God’s sovereignty over life and death. He cited James 4:15: “If the Lord wills, we will live.” Piper acknowledged that this can be a difficult truth to accept in the face of loss, but he emphasized that God’s control over life provides comfort, not fear.
“It is no true comfort to believe that death is controlled by the evil of Satan or the meaninglessness of chance,” Piper said. “What comforts us in death — ours and those we love — is that the all-wise, all-governing God has good reasons for whom He takes and whom He leaves.”
Piper also pointed to the story of Job, who worshiped God even after losing all 10 of his children in a single day. “Your baby did not die in vain,” Piper said. “God is doing a thousand things — yes, 10,000 things — you cannot see. All of them are wise. All of them work for your good if you trust Him.”
The pastor reassured the grieving mother that her baby’s life is not over, stressing that infants who die go on to live eternally with God.
“Your baby’s life did not end,” Piper said. “If you persevere in faith, you will be with your child in due time.”
The Don't Waste Your Life author acknowledged that living with regret is difficult but assured the grieving mother that it doesn't have to be paralyzing. He referenced the Apostle Paul, who deeply regretted his past as a persecutor of Christians but found hope and purpose in God’s mercy.
“Paul called himself the chief of sinners because of his horrible history,” Piper said. “But instead of paralyzing him, it made him even more effective as a minister of mercy.”
Piper assured the mother that God is ready to forgive whatever measure of guilt she feels. He quoted 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Finally, Piper emphasized that even though no one knows why suffering happens, God’s purposes are always for the good of His children. He cited James 1:12, which says that those who remain steadfast under trial will receive the crown of life.
“God has dealt you a very painful blow,” Piper said. “But He is not against you. He wants you to trust Him even more deeply than you do now or ever have.”
Piper concluded by encouraging the grieving mother to continue fighting the fight of faith, trusting that God will deliver her from her pain in His own time.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit,” Piper said, quoting Psalm 34:18. “Be steadfast. Trust Him. He’s going to bring you through this.”
Leah M. Klett is a reporter for The Christian Post. She can be reached at: leah.klett@christianpost.com
