Max Lucado's Daughter Talks Faith Struggles, Asking Why Atheists Are 'More Loving' Than Christians
Andrea Lucado, a writer and daughter of renowned best-selling Christian preacher Max Lucado, has opened up about some of her struggles with faith, including wondering why some atheists seem "more loving" than many Christians.
Lucado wrote in a blog, posted on her father's website on Thursday, about how she has always questioned stories, including biblical ones, and sought answers ever since she was a child.
"Curiosity and questioning are what have led me to deeper truths about God and about myself and others. But when you grow up as a pastor's daughter, there are expectations," she began, noting that her father has been the pastor of Oak Hills Church in San Antonio for almost 30 years, or her entire life.
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Lucado reflected that on one hand, it helped her grow strong as a believer in Jesus, but on the other, she found it difficult to be raised in front of a congregation that expected her to act, look, and carry herself a specific way.
"So I kept my doubts to myself. I talked to my parents about them, but few others. I grew inward in my faith," she said, adding that she was fearful of people finding out that she sometimes has doubts.
What is more, she was afraid of going forward for prayer at church, because she was concerned congregation members would assume something was wrong with her or her family.
"I wonder if this happens to other pastors' kids. If somehow in the midst of all of the church people we know, we end up living private spiritual lives. I had quiet times. I read and studied and prayed, but I did so alone," she wrote.
"I lived my private spiritual life for as long as I could, until it didn't work anymore. Until the doubts grew overwhelming."
Her doubts "came out in full bloom" when she moved to Oxford to study English literature after she graduated college, and reflected on some of her major questions:
"Why do I believe what I believe?
"Would I still be a Christian if I had not been raised in a Christian home?
"Why do the atheist and agnostics I know seem more peaceful and loving than many of the Christians I know?"
Further on in the blog she wrote about finding a friend in Oxford who was strong in his faith, and it was simply developing a friendship and talking with a person like that that helped her face her doubts.
"The people who talk to God, as I learned, can do a lot for you and for your faith if you let them. I once heard author and pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber speak. During the question and answer session at the end, a guy stood up and said, 'I had faith and it was strong, but now I'm doubting. I feel weak in my faith. What should I do?'"
"Bolz-Weber's suggestion? 'You can take a break now. Let someone else on the pew be strong for you,'" Lucado wrote, noting that she likes the idea of people giving each other a break and letting others on the pew "be strong" for a little while instead.
Lucado added: "I left Oxford with a deeper faith than I had when I arrived. The restless nights eventually led to a knowing and a peace, largely due to that friend and a few others on the pew I let be strong for me for a while."
She admitted that she still finds it difficult to go forward in church for prayer, and that she still defaults to "keeping up appearances and appearing strong and fine."
"God has been gentle and patient with me and I hope that one day, when the pastor calls for the time of prayer, I'll be the first running down the aisle," she said.
Lucado elaborates on her experiences and faith journey in her book, English Lessons, released earlier this week.
Pastor Lucado himself has talked about Christians having doubts, but stressed that Jesus Christ doesn't give up on them.
"God doesn't let go and He won't let go of you," Lucado advised doubting Christians.
