Read Encouraging Stories of Marriages Rescued From Divorce
Back in May, I shared with you the news that the National Institute of Marriage (NIM) was joining Focus on the Family. What made this coming together so exciting was NIM's specialty is crisis intervention for marriages that are on the brink of divorce.
Through multiple-day intensive marriage retreats for couples who are literally out of options when it comes to salvaging their relationships, the counselors at NIM are able to offer solid, biblical counsel to these couples that help them achieve hope and healing. Despite these odds, NIM's treatment model is one of the most successful in the entire world of professional counseling: Nearly 85 percent of couples who take part in intensive counseling with NIM are still married two years after their experience.
Today I want to share with you stories from the husbands and wives who, through God's grace, experienced a transformation in their marriages after seeking help at Focus on the Family's National Institute of Marriage, as it's now known.
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After 21 years of many heartaches and struggles, the greatest of which included the deaths of our two sons—one in 1998 at the age of 13 months and the second in 2009 at the age of five years—we had so much hurt and grief built up that our marriage was coming apart at the seams. The miracle of a four-day intensive has been amazing because from the first day we both said, "God is here!" It took us 'til the very last day for us to have our breakthrough, but even seeing and sharing the other four couples' experiences helped pave the way for us to get on board with the miracles that we were seeing take place around us… Praise God for his infinite love and mercy and for letting NIM be His hands and feet.
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This is our second time here at NIM. The first was last July after I told my wife I wanted a divorce. We came here for a week-long intensive, and it was not easy. I did not want to come or even really be around my wife. As I look back now I am extremely grateful towards my wife and God for helping me. After we left NIM last year I still moved forward with my plans and I moved out. I was only out of the house for a short time before I came home, but I continued to be dishonest and hurtful to my wife. I finally started to listen to God, let go of my anger and fear, and allow Him to work in me. That is when I remembered all I learned here at NIM. I started to realize that it was not my wife's responsibility to control how I feel, that is mine. I asked her to come back to NIM with me so we could reconnect. She agreed, and we traveled two days to come back for a couples' weekend retreat. This weekend has been filled with both pain and joy, but more so joy. We have started to have heart talks again, and I love opening up to my wife. We will continue to practice what we have learned to get better at communicating… Thank you NIM for helping me reconnect with my wife and teaching me to allow God to give me strength. Eleven years and a lifetime to go…
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It is amazing what you can learn in 2½ days. My husband and I came to NIM knowing there was nothing else we could do for our marriage, and we are leaving here with the best gift you could imagine—tools, that if used correctly, will help us to have a successful, loving marriage. Just having these tools gives me so much hope that I am now excited about the future of us, whereas before there was no excitement. I can honestly say this is one of the greatest places I have ever been…
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As a pastor's wife there has been a lot of feelings and fears of being ignored. We dealt with a lot of those feelings and the counselor gave me a lot of tools in how to go to my "safe place" to find "me" and then re-enter back into conversations confident because of Christ. We have found healing here and have been placed on a path to pursue wholeness. We were pretty messed up and have seen God work a miracle. I believe more than ever that God's word is true!
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I was pleasantly surprised and blessed by the whole experience. I expected it to be harsh with lots of blaming, etc. Instead, our time was filled with grace and compassion, the truth in love. It was a calm, safe, understanding environment. I learned valuable information about my spouse and about myself (our fears, wants, reactions). I learned how to care about my own heart and how to truly listen.
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My wife and I are at a time others may consider odd. During our intensive we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We were dry and apathetic about our marriage and I was a cold and emotionless man. I was the one that burdened the relationship with mistrust and deep hurts and revisited the wreckage daily. NO MORE! Thanks to people who showed empathy and deep care for my wife and I, we now have the knowledge we need to fight back and fight for each other. My heart is alive and warm for the first time in many decades. This place is a special place of love and care and hope… I can now see my wife in her purest place without my junk draped over her heart. Together I believe we can now conquer anything. Praise God!
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I came to NIM in my car with a passenger I barely knew. I depart NIM, in that same car, now with my wife whom I've missed dearly! There is hope! Take this journey day by day and trust that the Lord will finish the good work He started!!
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We arrived at your facility very skeptical that anything could help us out of our situation. We had been separated since July 23rd and divorce papers had already been served. My wife felt like nothing could keep us together and this was her last effort… We left the intensive on Friday and sat down and talked for hours about what we had learned and what we both wanted in a marriage and a relationship. At the end of the discussion my wife said abruptly, 'I don't think we are through here,' and that she wanted another night to talk some more .We booked another night's stay and just talked all night… We have not been apart since! The divorce was dropped and we are about to celebrate our 26th Christmas together! I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!
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It was one year ago last week that my wife and I attended a NIM intensive in Branson… I can promise you our story was as jacked up as it gets. I am so thankful to say that our marriage today is better than it has been in the previous 20 years. I truly have found a new love for my wife that frankly I did not think was possible.
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My wife and I were married very young and had children early in life, so we never really had any time alone together as a married couple. We were both raised in very strict homes and shared the same morals and beliefs; however we couldn't seem to agree on anything. It was rather depressing to think that we have only been married for seven years and we were still in our late 20s and we couldn't seem to make things work. We had both realized that we didn't want to continue living this way, for both ourselves and our two children. Needless to say, NIM was really our only hope to make this marriage succeed. Our counselor was a God send. He never made either of us feel threatened or in the spotlight for our struggles.
Our counselor had an amazing way of making both my wife and I feel very safe and secure even when discussing sensitive issues. I'm excited to say that my wife and I have discovered how to communicate through our "Heart Talks" and learned to work through our problems. Although we have a long way to go, I can thank NIM for bringing my wife and I back together (even after a rough rocky road following an affair) to point us down the path of a successful and happy marriage.
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These testimonies are just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds more like them!
There is hope for marriages in crisis. If you know of a marriage that is floundering – if your marriage is floundering – Focus' National Institute of Marriage is available to help. Just visit nationalmarriage.com or call 1-866-875-2915.
Click here for original article on FOTF website.
