Southern Poverty Law Center Accidentally Labels Itself a Hate Group
For Internet activist OccupyHobbyLobby, last Friday was a typical day of running roughshod on people he doesn't like.
A Social Justice Warrior, OccupyHobbyLobby, and his other friends who self-identify as screennames, decided to search the Southern Poverty Law Center's nationally-renowned website for information.
"We we're planning on looking for a new hate group that day to deal with, you know, show some justice to," said OccupyHobbyLobby.
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"Nothing violent of course, just maybe throw some Chick-fil-A sandwiches at their windows or glitterbomb them as they left the office. Stuff like that."
However, when they came upon the hate map the SPLC posted, a friend of the activist named DieRepubsDie noticed something strange.
"What DieRepubsDie found was a large red dot on Montgomery, Alabama," he recalled. "I didn't think much of it, but DieRepubsDie pointed out that that was the, you know, place where the SPLC was."
Upon clicking the dot, the SJWs were shocked to see that the civil rights organization had actually labeled itself a hate group.
Ignoring the SPLC's long history of bringing violent Klansmen to justice, the entry claimed that the SPLC had sought to marginalize social conservatives, Tea Party activists, and libertarians.
The entry referenced Floyd Lee Corkins, the gay activist who attempted to shoot up the pro-traditional marriage Family Research Council building after finding its headquarters on the SPLC's hate map.
"SPLC's rhetoric created a climate of fear for traditional marriage advocates, encouraging the violence of Corkins," claimed the entry.
The entry also included a link to the "Extremist Files," which, oddly enough, included an article about the SPLC's first president, the recently deceased Julian Bond.
Rather than focus on his lengthy history of civil rights activism, the entry claimed Bond was a hateful extremist for his more recent comments about Republicans.
"Bond has shown an intense hatred and stereotyping for tens of millions of Americans solely on the basis of party identification," read the entry, which was eventually removed by the SPLC's web team.
SJW's like OccupyHobbyLobby and DieRepubsDie were not the only ones to see the two entries labeling the SPLC and Bond as hateful.
A group of millennial-aged college students enrolled in an "Evils of White Male Patriarchy and Heteronormative Animal-Eating" course at Berkley discovered the entries during class.
While the SJWs emailed the SPLC to bring their attention to the accidental listing, the students started the Twitter hashtag #SPLCsoRacistLOL, which ended up getting over 14,000 tweets by Monday morning.
"So freakin funy that SPLC wears wite hoods. There like Hitler and Stalin and Donald Trump combined, #SPLCsoRacistLOL," tweeted one person who unfortunately votes.
SPLC leaders are still investigating just what went wrong in what some scholars and journalists alike are calling the "Whoopsie of the Century."
At a hastily organized press conference, an SPLC spokesperson assured a gaggle of journalists that they were taking all necessary precautions to make sure that their group is not listed again.
"We here at the Southern Poverty Law Center were appalled by the entry and took it down as soon as possible," stated the spokesperson.
"No group should be deemed hateful because of the occasional comments by a member or the indirect violent actions of others."
When a member of the press asked if this meant that groups like the Family Research Council might also be removed from the list, the spokesperson then laughed hysterically.
"Are you kidding me? The FRC is totally a hate group," he countered, getting some nods of approval from the mainstream media outlets present.
"Don't you know that their rhetoric can be indirectly connected to violent actions and that the occasional member has said hateful things?!"
As for OccupyHobbyLobby, he and his fellow SJWs plan to go back to using Wikipedia as their sole source of gathering reliable information on various groups.
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