Tear Down the Wall Around Your Heart and Be Free, Says Author Mary Demuth (INTERVIEW)
Mary Demuth is the author of "The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You." Demuth sees a real problem in society, which is one of people hurting each other out of fear and pain. She spoke with The Christian Post about how we can lower the walls around our own hearts and allow Jesus to protect us when we need it.
CP: How can you tell if someone has a wall around his or her heart?
MD: It does come out in behavior and you see people – their circle of influence and friends begins to diminish – and typically someone who is walled off like that, if you poke a little bit, you're going to get some bitterness back out. That, to me, is a sign that someone is trying to shut people out; we can think that's awesome because it's a way of protecting one's self, but in all honesty, it's a reaction to pain and hurt that only causes more pain and hurt. If you can't feel the bad, you can't truly feel the good either.
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CP: What is the best way to help him or her tear down that wall and let people and Jesus in?
MD: That assumes that there is a relationship there in the first place, and it's a good way to try and be able to break through. The first thing would be to pray that God would give you the opportunity to gently prod and ask a lot of questions as to why this all started and perhaps, if the person is amenable to it, to sit and pray together about the event that started it all. Really, empathy and compassion is the best way to handle someone. When we are really stressed out and busy, we don't have time to discern that someone is hurting. Part of us being agents of change is to slow down and see that something has changed.
CP: How can tearing down walls help our society?
MD: We were church planters in France, and one of the things I took away from that was that we could sit around the table, talk about politics, disagree and still be friends. We can't do that here because someone always has to be right, someone has to be wrong. It's harder to demonize and vilify someone when you have broken bread with him or her.
I wrote the book because I've seen too many people hurting, isolating themselves because they had been hurt. One of the things I think is interesting is that the thing that wounds us is what can heal us. Community can wound us and simultaneously heal us. People who isolate miss out on the blessing of community and fellowship.
"The Wall Around Your Heart" is available now.
