Terry Crews' wife Rebecca shares how God restored marriage after porn addiction, infidelity
Rebecca Crews will forever remember the night she didn’t think her husband, NFL player-turned-actor Terry Crews, was coming home.
“My husband and I had gone through a really bitter breakup, and we were trying to rebuild our marriage when we got into a verbal fight,” she recalled. “I’d always had these inner fears of rejection and abandonment, and so often, when we would fight, my husband would grab his things and leave. He would abandon me there with all my feelings. And it would always leave me in this frozen, fearful state. I would sit there, holding my breath, rocking in the chair with my pillow because my greatest fear was him leaving me. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t talk. It just was this bitter dark void that I could not find expression for.”
After sitting there for what “felt like an eternity,” Crews felt the strength to cry out, “God, what do I do?” Instantly, she heard God speak to tell her: “Write, Rebecca.”
Get Our Latest News for FREE
“My hands instantly fell to the keyboard, and the song ‘Breathless’ came to me in about 10 minutes,” the 55-year-old speaker and author shared. “That started a journey with my writing, where I write whatever is going on in my life. I write about some of the pain that I've gone through, write about some of the things people have shared with me, their stories of heartbreak — and God’s faithfulness.”
Married for 32 years with five children, the Crews have weathered unthinkable storms together, from Rebecca’s “incredibly painful” discovery of Terry’s infidelity to his decadeslong porn addiction — issues the couple candidly discusses in their memoir, Stronger Together.
“I believe that I should respect, reverence, and allow my husband to lead our family,” she said. “I do not, however, believe I'm supposed to be a doormat. And in many ways, I was. And there was abuse in my family that allowed me to be codependent and abuse in his family that gave him a chip on his shoulder. And at the time, the church didn't help, because sometimes the church can be so accommodating of male failure and expecting the wives to look the other way by forgiving.”
But after years of counseling and rebuilding their marriage, the couple is today “stronger than ever” and share their story to inspire and uplift others.
“Today, I look at my husband, and I always say he’s a better man than me. He took hold of the Word of God, and he took hold of the Scriptures, and he just ran with all his might. He said, ‘God, I don't want to be like this anymore.’ And he amazes me every day. He really is the kinder, gentler version of Terry Crews because he let God do a work in his life,” Crews shared.
“We are by no means perfect, but I love the relationship we have today. It's free from fear.”
Crews, who recently released her new single “Reachin' for the Top” ahead of her forthcoming album, opens up about the sting of betrayal, the pain of abandonment, and the beauty of redemption through her music — a practice she calls a “form of therapy.” Numerous people, she said, have shared with her how they found hope through her words and her story.
“I became a Christian at 17, and have always wanted to do something that would just allow God to use me,” she said. “And I never thought it would be this way, but I'm very thankful because this is another fulfillment of a dream.”
The artist grew up in a musical home, sang in church, and directed choirs, so venturing into the world of singing and songwriting was comfortable territory for her.
“Music is in my DNA. Music isn't a new thing for me; it's just that many people don't know me as a musician because I took a break from performing to raise my family,” she shared. “I really felt like God telling me just to raise my family, so I just continued to sing in the church choir as I raised my kids.”
Nearly two decades ago, Crews felt God tugging at her heart, telling her to make her own music. One of the first songs she wrote was from Psalm 91 and had a “kind of Latin-jazz feel to it.” But producers told her it was “too sexy” to gain popularity in the CCM world, and she was “too cute” to be a Christian artist.
“It was hard at the time; my music just never took off in the Christian world,” she said. “But now, I can see that the Holy Spirit was saying to me that I was limiting myself as a songwriter and that I should write whatever was going on in my life.”
Since 2018, Crews has released songs under the pseudonym Regina Madre, releasing radio singles: “(I Keep) Holding On” and “Destiny.” But last year, a dramatic event changed her perspective on music.
In March 2020, Crews was diagnosed with breast cancer and immediately underwent a double mastectomy for treatment two weeks after her diagnosis. The event, she said, gave her a “whole new passion for life.”
“There is no time limit on dreams,” she said. “I'm continuously amazed and surprised at the goodness of the Lord because He keeps bringing my dreams to life. And that's a trajectory that we see in Scripture; Sarah was 100 years old before she had a baby. God made her a promise, and He fulfilled it. Sometimes, the longer you wait, the more precious the thing is.”
“Through my music, I try to be real and honest, and give women something they can relate to,” she added. “I want to let people know they’re not alone.”
The key to moving past trials and finding one’s calling, Crews said, is “listening to God and letting Him show you when, where, and how to move in faith.”
“Allow the Lord to lead you,” she said. “Your dreams are worth fighting for.”
