'Literally a drug': Brittni and Richard De La Mora warn married couples against watching porn
“Is watching porn in marriage sinful?”
Ex-porn star Brittani De La Mora and her pastor-husband, Richard De La Mora, warned that porn negatively affects the soul and can have a detrimental impact on the body.
On their "Let's Talk Purity" podcast Brittani, who was in the adult film industry for seven years, said porn "is literally a drug" and leads to consuming higher doses to achieve the same results each time it's used.
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“Just because something's available to you doesn't mean you should utilize it," she said. "Just because cigarettes are available doesn't mean you should smoke them. Just because drugs are available doesn't mean you should use them. Just because it's being produced for you, it doesn't make it good for you.
"Porn is, honestly, it's a gateway," she warned. "It triggers in your brain the same dopamine receptors as cocaine. So, it's been proven to be addictive."
Speaking about the slippery slope of porn, she said, "Just like that first line of coke. It doesn’t fill you anymore. So, you have to go to do more and more. And it's the same with porn. You end up getting deeper and deeper into it.”
Richard also spoke negatively of porn, saying it's a “gateway to pedophilia" and is harmful to a person whether they're married or not.
“You're objectifying a woman or you're objectifying a man,” Richard De La Mora said. "When they do watch pornography, they get these mental images and oftentimes, they will find themselves undressing a woman or undressing a man in their minds."
“It's like, ‘how did your mind get this perverted? How did your mind get this way?’ It's because of what you're in-taking," he said. "And now, you're in-taking these images and these images now are creating false fantasies, especially in your marriage."
He warned that when men “watch a lot of porn and masturbate, it creates erectile dysfunction. So, it not only affects your soul, but it also affects your body.”
Richard noted that porn can also impact a person's relationship with God, "because you can't even go into a secret place with God without thinking about secret pleasures that you might have; all because pornography is affecting you."
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“This is one of the greatest distractions and traps of the enemy. Because the enemy wants to put these negative images in you. So, you don’t honor not only God, honor His people, but then you don't even live a life of purity,” he continued.
Brittni added that it's “understandable” why some people would believe that watching pornography is morally OK or better than committing the physical act of adultery.
However, she said, Scripture teaches an entirely different set of standards for God’s creations, referencing Matthew 5:28, which says, " ... anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
“God is a heart person, not just an action person. Because it's your heart that ultimately determines your actions,” she said. “God is looking first at your heart."
"If you are willing to go and look at another person in the most intimate act, in their most transparent, naked, they're naked, they're doing their thing, and you're willing to look at that; you're already committing adultery. Because you're doing it in your heart.”
Many people falsely believe that pornography can help keep someone from committing adultery, Brittni said she knows "a lot of people" who "are committing adultery" because they had "first started watching porn."
“Porn is the gateway because porn is not enough to fill your needs. Not for a temporary purpose. What it opens up in you is a desire for more," she noted. "It could actually lead you to committing adultery.”
Brittni recommended that married couples struggling with porn addiction need to ask themselves why they're turning to porn instead of physical intimacy with each other.
“Why are you and your partner not having sex? What is the issue? Are they upset with you? Is there some sort of an offense that you guys need to work through? How can we make things right in your marriage so that your partner actually wants to sleep with you?” she said.
The De La Moras agreed that there might be seasons in a marriage where sex between partners doesn’t seem as appealing, such as with menopause or childbirth.
“You just have to work it out. You don’t have to watch porn to fill that need,” Brittni said, adding that her husband might have struggled with desiring intimacy after she gave birth to their two children, but he never turned to porn during that time.
Richard advised married listeners who are struggling with porn addiction to try to uncover what the underlying issues are in their relationship and have meaningful conversations to uncover what the “heart issue” is at "the root."
“We often say, ‘porn is a fruit, hurt is the root.’ I think sometimes, when we find ourselves wanting to watch porn because you're not intimate with your partner, it's because there's a root issue going on,” he said.
Richard added that there are “seasons" in a married life in which "you're going to need the assistance of the Holy Spirit" to help get through them.
“Obviously, we need the Holy Spirit's help every single day. We can't do life without Jesus. We can't do life without the guidance of the Holy Spirit," he noted.
"But I think it's imperative if somebody is struggling in that area, I would really lean on God and maybe just have a conversation with your partner.”
Nicole Alcindor is a reporter for The Christian Post.
