What Your Favorite Bible Translation May Say About You
New International Version (NIV)
3 Things You Can't Live Without:
1. Polo's and Dockers, because suits are for "squares"
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2. Jesus Calling devotional book
3. A social media avenue to share your picture of that day's devotional reading, your open Bible, and your cup of coffee in a Christian mug.
Most Likely To Be Spotted At— Applebee's or Chili's because you are way too rad to be seen with those KJV people at the Cracker Barrel.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To—Find and "share" every kitty-cat and/or flower scripture meme known to mankind on social media that says, "If you love Jesus, you'll "share" this picture with ten people in the next ten minutes."
English Standard Version (ESV)
3 Things You Can't Live Without:
1. Plaid-shirts and cardigans
2. iWhatever (fill in the blank—pad? pod? phone? watch?)
3. Black-rimmed glasses (Shhh. They may be cosmetic)
Most Likely To Be Spotted At – Anywhere you were "predestined before the foundation of the earth" to be.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To – Find a way to quote (or misquote) John Piper, Timothy Keller, or John Calvin in any and every situation.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3 Things You Can't Live Without:
Pleated-pants
A backpack with wheels
Your own personal blog (though the design hasn't been updated since 2009)
Most Likely To Be Spotted At – A Conference that's largely attended (well, actually you and three other people), where the word "and" from 2 Peter is being parsed. Now, that sounds like a party!
You Have The Uncanny Ability To – Inform anyone, even a complete stranger, that you know a tad-bit of Greek. Your barista to you: "Sir, here is your Venti Caffe Latte." Your need to speak up: "Do you happen to know what Venti means in Koine Greek?" Their reply: "Sir, it's Italian for 'I don't care'!"
New Living Translation (NLT)
3 Things You Can't Live Without:
1. Essential Oils
2. Flip-flops (Even when its forty-degrees outside)
3. Your own personal expresso machine (Because, Starbucks is way too mainstream)
Most Likely To Be Spotted At – Any where that you "chose" to be by our own "free-will".
You Have The Uncanny Ability To – Show up late every single time no matter where you go. However, you always have a really creative and convincing excuse.
The Message Bible
3 Things You Can't Live Without:
1. The Shack
2. A hemp necklace
3. The saying, "Don't give me theology, just give me Jesus."
Most Likely To Be Spotted At – Anywhere but church.
You Have The Uncanny Ability To – Believe that you're actually reading a real Bible translation.
A special thank you to John Rogers and Cooper Taylor for their input and crafting of the light-hearted jokes. (Anything that you're offended by… please, know it is their fault.)
This article was originally posted here.
