When You're Hurt By The Church: 5 Comforting Truths for Those Who Get Hurt by The Church
Have you ever been hurt by the church? Of course you have. In the eighteen years I have been part of the same church community, everyone I have known was hurt by someone in the church in some way or another.
Some offenses are caused by full-time leaders and pastors. Some are caused by co-workers. Also, some are caused by spectators and visitors. We've all been offended by the church because members of the church are just like us- offensive, imperfect and in need of a total overhaul.
Relationships, whether inside or outside of the church, will always be tough, and the temptation is always to abandon the relationship and move on to the next. It just seems like the best way is out, but is it the only way out? Some feel like it is, but it's not.
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The best way to deal with hurt is to go through it, not to leave it. That's why Paul urges us in Ephesians 4:3 (NIV), "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
And I know it's hard, but we're not alone in this. God is there to bring us through it and to uplift us with principles and truths that stand even in the midst of offense. Here are five comforting truths for those who have been hurt by the church.
Jesus is what makes the church perfect not the people. God longs to have a consecrate and holy church. Addressing the Corinthians, Paul calls them "those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be his holy people." (1 Corinthians 1:2). But even then don't expect to see perfect people in church. Everyone in church is flawed, but even in our flaws we have a God who is perfect in our imperfections.
Jesus was rejected too. It's interesting how Jesus was rejected by religious institutions as well. But even as spiritual leaders rejected Him, He still built relationship with some of them- like Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea and even Saul. Jesus knows the pain of rejection and allows us to overcome it as He does.
Even the most meaningful relationships can be hurtful. Think about your marriage, your relationship with your best friend or even a business partner. Are they perfect? No, they're not. Yet it's a mystery how people expect church relationships to be any different. Even the most meaningful relationships go through fire. It is in fact those trials and testings that strengthen our relationships.
We'll all get it right one day. We might be having problems uniting today, but the day will come when all members of the body of Christ will come together in one accord to worship the Lord. Revelations 15:4 tells us, "All nations will come and worship you, for your righteous acts have been revealed."
Christ's love is enough to reconcile. Ephesians 4:32 goes on to remind us saying, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." The only reason we can forgive is because we have already been forgiven. Just as Jesus has forgiven us of all sins, He also gives us the grace to forgive others who have hurt us.
