10 terrific gifts to give your pastor

By Brad Whitt, Op-ed contributor Monday, October 09, 2023

October is Pastor Appreciation Month. This month, many churches will take time to show their appreciation to their pastor for his love and ministry over the past year. Some churches will take up a love offering for their pastor. Many will put a basket in the vestibule for members to place cards with kind sentiments they want to share with their pastor. A few churches may even have a dinner or a reception — a nice time to get together to express their feelings for their pastor.

All of these things are nice and good. In fact, I believe it is an excellent idea for a church to take one month out of the year to do something special to show how much they appreciate the time, effort, love, and concern their pastor has for them.

I've been blessed to pastor churches that do that. Now, it wasn't always that way. When I'd first come to a previous church, one of our new staff members, who had come from a larger church in North Carolina that knew how to show their love for their pastor, approached our deacon chairman and asked him if the church ever had a "Pastor Appreciation Day." The deacon chairman said, "No. We never have. We just always paid 'em good." My new associate shared how strange that sentiment was to him. He couldn't understand how a man so successful in business could overlook something so simple as expressing love and appreciation for a year's worth of ministry. I remember him telling me how his former church would try to outdo themselves every year when it came time for pastor appreciation month. I know that the pastor had to appreciate all they did to show him their love.

As I sat in my office this morning, I spent some time thinking about some of the gifts I know I have appreciated over the years as a pastor. I want to suggest 10 terrific gifts you should give your pastor, not just during Pastor Appreciation Month but the other eleven months of the year as well:

1. Your prayers

This is the greatest gift you can give your pastor. If you don't love him as you should, begin to pray for him, and you will. Of course, if you already love him, then you'll naturally want to pray for him. I've had several of our senior adults tell me when I call just to check in on them how they pray for me every day. That's fuel for more ministry!

2. Your love

A pastor who shepherds his people will expend a significant amount of love. His heart will be stretched and often broken. Next to your prayers, the most important thing you can give your pastor is your love. By the way, if you love him, let him know it. Despite what some people think, I don't know of any pastor who can read minds. I can't tell you how many times I've received a card expressing a member's love and prayers just when I thought nobody in the church liked me, much less loved me.

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3. Your unconditional support

Dr. Jim Henry told our staff recently that researchers say that other than being the president of the United States, the most stressful "job" is being the pastor of a local church. I remember years ago when one of my associate pastors was preaching, he made a statement that at first made me think that he was going to have to make a trip to the pastor's office. He said, "The pastor is not always perfect ..." I knew that. Everybody knows that. I didn't think that somebody would say it from the pulpit. Then he added, "But he is always the pastor."

4. A little grace

I'm amazed at how often people get their feelings hurt in church. Usually, it is because of something somebody did or said, or didn't do or didn't say. Sometimes, that somebody is the pastor. The next time you start to get upset with your pastor, take just a minute, breathe, and consider the possibility that he might just be human, too. Maybe, like you, he has good days and bad days. You never know what burden he might be carrying, what issue he's having to deal with. It might be something at church or home. So, please give him a little grace and cut him some slack. You would want him to do the same for you.

5. A 'good word' to your pastor

Everybody likes to hear when they've done something right or been a blessing to somebody. The sermon may have spoken to you. Perhaps the service blessed you. Maybe you appreciated his call or visit or liked his tie or new shoes. In a given week, the average pastor hears many things he's done wrong. Please take a moment and share something that he's done right.

6. A 'good word' for your pastor

Tell your friends if your pastor is a gifted Bible preacher, a visionary leader, or a caring pastor. Invite them to come hear him preach and spend time with him. Brag on him. Make sure everybody knows just how great you think your pastor is. This news will get out and back and be a great and encouraging gift.

7. Your faithfulness

I had lunch with a pastor friend who served the same church for nearly 20 years and told me that instead of large receptions or lots of money, he'd rather have his people be faithful. I completely agree. Cash or cards don't begin to say what a family's faithfulness does. Your faithfulness to the ministry of your church speaks volumes about how much you love and appreciate your pastor. Don't just say it or give it; show it.

8. Time with his family 

He won't be any good to your family if he's not any good to his family. If you have a need that's not an emergency, leave a message and tell him there's no hurry. Or send an email or a direct message. No pastor minds taking a call or visiting if there is a real need, but make sure it is a real need before your call in the evening or on the weekend when he's with his family. Another good idea is to insist, and if funds are available, ensure that the pastor and his family can have at least one week to get away on a vacation. (Two weeks would be even better.) In a day where most "faithful" church members miss at least one Sunday a month and take multiple trips or vacations a year, it's not asking too much to make sure that he and his family have at least one.

9. Time by himself

The demands of being a pastor today are exponentially more significant than just 25 or 30 years ago. The pressure of meeting all the needs and living up to the expectations can get to the point that it just becomes too much to bear. This unrelenting pressure and overwhelming expectations explain why so many pastors are burning out and quitting — sometimes to never darken the door of a church with their families again. Let your pastor get away to a good conference where he can refresh. Send him on a hunting, fishing, or golf trip. Whatever he likes to do. Allow him to recharge his batteries so that he can return energized for the ministry the Lord has for him there.

10. A financial gift

There is a reason why this is last — because it's last. For most pastors I know and have talked to, a love offering is way down at the bottom of a list of things they would like to receive from their church. Most pastors don't become pastors to get rich. They do it because of the call of God on their life. So, consider giving a gift card for a nice meal. Or, even better, a little extra money to do whatever they want to do with it. Express your appreciation for the long hours of ministry and love that he gives, not just during October but the rest of the year as well.

These are just a few thoughts of a pastor who was raised in the home of a pastor and loves pastors. What gift will you give to your pastor today? Every day?