3 Concerns for Today's Children That Only Parents Will Understand
Parenting is in danger of becoming extinct.
So many voices, influences, and authority figures vie for the attention of children today, that in countless homes around the world, the biblical role of parenting has fallen by the wayside.
This condition was driven close to home recently after our 16 year old daughter returned from a Christian camp. Within a week, she received a letter in the mail encouraging her that should she wish to pursue further conversations and support, the people she should turn to who could best help her would be her... wait for it... "Youth leaders!"
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Wouldn't everyone be expecting the address for reassurance and refreshment to be the child's parents before other influencers and authorities? Evidently not.
Granted, not every child comes from a supportive, Bible-believing home, in which case those in the Church would a be good option.
However, in Scripture, according to God's original plan, parents are the go-to people in a young person's life for wisdom (Deut. 1:1-7), training (Prov. 22:6), guidance (Prov. 1:1-9), chastising (Proverbs 13:24), and many other crucial character-building duties.
There are currently three primary sources competing for authority in our children's lives that should concern any parent:
School
An article in the Otago Daily Times, a New Zealand newspaper, recently expressed the opinion of a local boys' high school rector:
"The expectations imposed upon us now as a school, to attend to and reverse the ills of our society, are completely unrealistic and they are beyond our resource capability."
He said the lines of demarcation between parental and school responsibility and accountability had been "completely obliterated", and there was an expectation schools would, in part, fulfill the function that historically had been the role of a parent."
Teachers with tens of students in the average classroom barely have any time, emotional resources, and, often, interest in investing in each child individually.
The difference between school staff and parents, above all, is the God-ordained love, care, and, affection that each parent has towards their child.
Yet, as this article reiterates, it is often convenient for overwhelmed, preoccupied, and busy parents to lay upon the school the obligation that is theirs to own.
Anti-Christian propaganda expressed by the public school system can even distance children from their own parents' faith and concern.
Technology
Each individual has been created by the sovereign God to enter into this world's timeline at a specific, appointed moment in history. He has equipped parents with all they need to deal with the modern dilemmas, temptations, and volumes of information now available to children. He has placed principles in His Word which parents of today can apply when facing the issue of technology in their children's lives.
According to an itv.com study, parents themselves are not immune, and struggle to lead by example as the "average parent uses the smartphone an average of 240 times a day." This is the reality we all face in the 21st century.
In fact, "those born between 2010 and 2025—will grow up in a world in which artificial intelligence is part of everyday life, " states the IEEE.
It is safe to say that in due course parenting may indeed literally be substituted by non-living machines in the future, "Forty percent of parents surveyed said they're likely to supplement or replace a human nanny with a robot."
As Christians, we must fight this battle. There will be a lot of pressure placed on parents based on what "other parents" are allowing and even encouraging technology-wise. For those of us who limit its use, our children will almost certainly thank us when they're adults for keeping technology to a minimum where possible.
As one writer wisely suggests, "Try losing the technology for a day and doing with your child what we did as kids such as playing a game of pickup soccer, reading a book for fun, or making music. This creates the foundations for patience, creativity and effective communication that will help your child excel at life."
If we falter in this critical field, technology will certainly usurp any time, influence, and relationship we have with our child. It effectively threatens to parent our children in our place.
Parentification
Probably the most disconcerting of all, is a concept known as Parentification.
Thisis the process of role reversal whereby a child is obliged to act as parent to their own parent.
This beast flies under the radar in almost all modern homes in one degree or another. Parentification may be subtle but can take the shape of children disrespecting, belittling, and talking back to parents in a dishonoring manner. It rears its ugly head when children adopt entitlement in the decision making of the home. Or can be more obvious when by disobedience and defiance children highjack their parents' right to maintain an authoritative position.
A child will only do what he feels he can get away with, and it is our duty as parents to gently raise up children who know their place in the home and who honor the ones whom God has placed over them during their growing years. All this while being loved, nurtured, and biblically shaped.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
In summary, there is definitely a place for role models and mentors, technology, and other sources that can enrich our children's lives. However, as parents, the central responsibility, privileged directive, and holy calling to be the primary, lead stewards of our children's precious hearts lies with us while they are in our care. And what a privilege it is!
