Real love is unconditional. Do you know what that means?

By Bob Burckle, Op-ed contributor Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Thirty-four years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our second child, she took an alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) test, a blood test that is used to check the baby's risk of birth defects and genetic disorders, such as neural tube defects or Down syndrome. The result was lower than normal, which could possibly indicate Down syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes intellectual disabilities and health problems. The doctors kept pushing us to take a more invasive test and kept asking us repeatedly what our “decision” was.

Despite the fact that the risk of taking the test and harming our baby was 1 in 700, we said “no” to further testing. Finally, my wife and I asked the doctor the reason he was aggressively urging us to take this test. He responded by explaining to us that we needed to get this done within the first trimester, so that in case our baby did have Down syndrome, we would be able to legally and safely abort it. 

We were stunned. We couldn’t believe this was the reason for such a push; we couldn’t believe the nonchalance of it all from doctors and staff to murder a child. Of course, our response was an emphatic ‘no.’  We would not submit to an additional test because we would certainly not abort our baby due to any potential (or confirmed) Down syndrome — or any other underlying condition, for that matter.

Get Our Latest News for FREE

Subscribe to get daily/weekly email with the top stories (plus special offers!) from The Christian Post. Be the first to know.

Subscribe

At birth, we found out that she did not have the genetic disorder, but we already loved her unconditionally and it would not have mattered to us if she had that or any other diagnosis.

Every life is beautiful and valued in the sight of God

All children — regardless of those living with, or predestined to have, a condition or illness — are precious in the eyes of Heaven. Children are not an inconvenience, but rather, a gift from God. Even in the womb, from the very beginning, these little souls have value and a destiny worth fighting for. Showing a child that they are wanted and important can reinforce a divine calling in their life that changes everything, building them up in character and confidence so that they will know their identity in Christ Jesus.

We could never have known the immense blessing each of our children would turn out to be had we not given them a chance to live — and thrive — under the cover of heavenly love.

We need to love unconditionally

We are to love others as God loves us — deeply and unconditionally, even though we are far from perfect. In our world today, we cannot lose sight of this. Even when people are difficult to love, even when we are hit with the hard news that a child’s circumstances may prove more challenging than that of the norm — we are still compelled to love, and love above all else. 

This true love is more than physical attraction, flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Rather, real love is made up of intentional, action-oriented choices every single day that reflect the unconditional love of Christ. This deep, unwavering love for others is so much more than the emotional connection that the world tells us we need to attain to be happy. That facade of love, which we’ve been so conditioned to embrace and obsess over, is far from the reality of sustaining joy. In fact, the circumstances in life that present more challenges sometimes produce the most rewarding, sacrificial love, accompanied by a fulfilling joy and freedom in the Lord that far outweighs the fleeting passions of lust on this side of Heaven. 

The joys of loving those the world disregards

On a global scale, those with disabilities are often disregarded and cast away by society. While many underprivileged nations view these individuals and their families as cursed, the Western world curses these babies in their own way through the normalcy of abortion. And yet, the Bible instructs us to do the opposite, meeting these children and families with an overflowing of abundant love and attention. 

A lady at our church adopted a baby with Down syndrome. Some people might wonder why anyone would want to take on such a challenge. But this child is the embodiment of love and joy — a true gift from Heaven. And the adoption of this precious child of God is an undeniable action of devoted and unconditional love, not unnoticed in the Kingdom of God. Her affection and care toward this sweet girl has shown her what it means to be valued in the eyes of God and humanity.

Love is not selfish

We need to remain acutely aware of the preciousness of life, not taking it for granted. My wife and I were unwilling to take even the smallest chance of harming our baby by taking that second test. And more so, we would have never aborted her, regardless of finding out about any disability. It would have been so selfish on our part to have sacrificed our baby for our own convenience.

However, that is what our sinful human nature wants to do, isn’t it? We love when, how and who it is ideal to love for our own gain. Yet, when we look at the Word of God, we witness selfless love reflective of the Father and His Son on the cross, that which Jesus outwardly offered to the outcasts of society, unpopular and unglamorous to the rest of the world.