Sacred intimacy: Exploring sexuality through a biblical lens
In our current social climate, conversations regarding premarital sex often evoke mixed emotions and varied beliefs. Yet, for Christians, it's crucial to approach these discussions with a readiness to apprehend the Bible's teachings on sexual intercourse within the framework of marriage.
And yet, it's worth noting that many individuals identify as Christians today and consider sexual relations outside of marriage as normal and integral to their lives.
Famous blogger and progressive Christian Dianna Anderson sets forth this pattern of relativistic thinking in her book Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity:
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“If you choose to wait, it is important to define why. Developing your sexual ethics is important for owning your body, and your sexuality. It is also vital to the practice of respecting and loving one's neighbors, because a defined, meaningful approach to the practice of sex, like all other disciplines, helps us to understand both ourselves and our relationship to others. Ultimately, defining your own sexual ethics and why you have them is an integral part of any future or current relationship, sexual or not.”
Nadia Boltz-Weber, a former ordained Lutheran pastor, couldn't agree more. In her book Shameless: A Case for Not Feeling Bad about Feeling Good (About Sex), Boltz-Weber argues that the idea of confining sexual experiences solely to married couples is outdated. She believes that all forms of sexual expression should be embraced and celebrated as long as they are based on mutual consent among all parties involved.
However, when we turn to the Bible, we find a clear and consistent message that the sanctity and exclusivity of sex is meant for marriage alone. We never see an endorsed text of Scripture that condones the act of sex outside the marriage vows between a man and a woman. In fact, the writer of Hebrews boldly states, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (13:4). The phrase “marriage bed” is a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Here, the writer upholds the sacredness of sexual intimacy within the marriage bond while, at the same time, condemning sexual immorality (sin outside of marriage) and adultery.
The apostle Paul addresses the issue of premarital sex unequivocally in 1 Corinthians 6:18, declaring, “Flee from sexual immorality.” The Greek verb “flee” (pheugó) stresses that the command should be consistently followed as a regular practice. By abstaining from premarital sex, Christians actively honor God's commandments and protect themselves from the harmful consequences that can arise from sexual immorality.
Contrary to widespread misconceptions, Christianity doesn't brand sex as forbidden or unclean; instead, Christianity recognizes sex as a beautiful and intimate expression of love within marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
In Genesis 2:24, God establishes the blueprint for marriage, stating, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This union, symbolized through sexual intimacy, is a profound expression of unity, love, and commitment between a husband and wife. According to Ephesians 5:31-32, God created marriage as more than just a legal union. Marriage is a spiritually significant bond between a husband and wife whereby they achieve the joyous expression of oneness. In their award-winning book, The Meaning of Marriage, Tim and Kathy Keller write, “Indeed, sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being. Sex is God's appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, ‘I belong completely, permanently and exclusively to you.’ [Sex] ... is your covenant renewal service.”
To God, sex is more than just an intimate act. He created it as a shared bond meant only for a husband and wife to experience together as they unite in body, mind, and spirit.
If you have engaged in premarital sex, I want you to know that God’s grace is readily available. There is no sin too big that Jesus Christ can’t forgive. In his letter, John keenly remarks that if you confess your sins to Jesus, He is faithful to forgive you (see 1 John 1:9). The Psalmist portrays the breadth and power of God's forgiveness by proclaiming, “as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (103:12).
If you’re a Christian single, the Bible reminds you that your body is not your own, but you are a temple of the Holy Spirit (see 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). May this profound truth guide your every action and decision regarding sex. Engaging in premarital sex disregards the reverence and respect you owe to both your own body and your future spouse's body. By waiting until marriage, you affirm the sacredness of sex and demonstrate your obedience to God and His commands.
As we explore the biblical perspective on the sacred gift of sex, we should approach the topic with humility and an open heart to God's guidance. Instead of imposing judgments or perpetuating shame, we should seek understanding and encourage one another to honor God's commands. It’s important to remember that we all fall short, but God offers forgiveness and restoration when we repent. By embracing God’s design for sex within marriage, we can experience the joy and intimacy that comes from honoring His perfect plan.
As Christians, we are called to honor and uphold the teachings of the Bible in all aspects of our lives, including our sexuality. Therefore, we should humbly walk on the path set before us, cherishing and celebrating sex as the beautiful gift it was meant to be within the covenant of marriage.
Jason Jimenez is president of STAND STRONG Ministries, a faculty member at Summit Ministries, and the author of Challenging Conversations: A Practical Guide to Discuss Controversial Topics in the Church. For more info, check out www.standstrongministries.org.
