What does being feminine even mean
God-given femininity.
The very concept seems to ignite a powder keg of emotions.
For centuries, the beauty of God-given femininity has been under attack, its definition debated, and its behavior contested. Secular humanism has attempted to destroy the beautiful model of femininity and transform it into an equal model of masculinity. And today, it has gone one step further to claim an embrace of non-binary sexual identity.
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With all this confusion within society for such a long time, it is no wonder that this debate has filtered down to the youngest members of society — our children. This is no coincidence. Sin is like that. Satan is in for the long haul, and he delights in man’s refusal of the Godly gifts our Maker has bestowed upon us. As Christians, we must engage in this debate and end it once and for all, at least in our minds. Despite what society is saying, what media is portraying, and what influencers are engaging, Scripture is clear: there is a difference between male and female, and it is worth celebrating!
Often, a woman determines her level of femininity by her personality and proclivity to certain behaviors. My sister often stated, “I am a tomboy.” She loved horses and the outdoors. She cared less about makeup and dolls and more about biology and mechanics. Today she wonders if, due to cultural pressures, she would be encouraged to release her femininity and embrace a more masculine stereotype. Despite her love for “tomboyish” hobbies and interests, she also exhibited very feminine traits and behaviors. These included the very behaviors that are clearly defined in Scripture as to the true nature of a woman: relational, nurturing, vulnerable, a love for beauty and a desire to respond.
This is what defines a woman of God. The well-known verses of Proverbs 31 speak to the woman who manifests her God-given femininity through her character. The verses claim this type of character is difficult to find but when found, her worth is far above jewels. This woman is trusted by her husband, and she supports his work. Later in the Scripture, the Lord promises that because of her relational, caring nature, her children will rise and bless her.
Biblical femininity is not a personality trait or a list of shiny hobbies. It is the core essence of every woman. God created women as relational, nurturing, and vulnerable beings. Just as man, woman was created to be in a relationship with her Creator, letting the Holy Spirit guide and direct her path.
If you find your girl gravitates more toward an afternoon of fishing than one in a nail salon, remember this: God has given her the spirit of femininity, she doesn’t need to conform to the world’s view to prove it! In fact, it is this very cultural premise, that to be a female means you need to enjoy only ‘feminine’ things, that is damaging to our girls. Our hobbies do not determine our identity, our nature, our very being — God does.
Supporting your girl in navigating through discovering her identity and embracing her God-given femininity starts with building up confidence in yourself. God calls the equipped, sure, but more often than not, God equips the called. For this, for your girl, God called you.
It’s time to answer the call. Dig into the Word, build a community, and lean on your trusted people when you need to. We aren’t meant to go it alone, after all, you know the age-old adage: it takes a village to raise a child. More good news? God’s Church is that village. As Christians, we belong to a centuries-old network of families raising their children in our faith tradition — look to your faith community and ministries to build your personal village.
God-given femininity requires no debate. It is a gift that, when freely accepted, will bless a woman throughout her life whether she wears heels and loves shopping or whether she serves the hungry in her jeans and comfy t-shirt.
It is my prayer that every girl learns that she is beautifully and wonderfully made. Through her unique gifts and personality, may she embrace her femininity to become a Christ-following servant leader who is honoring, relational, anchored in Christ, and competent: a woman of integrity.
Patti Garibay is founder and executive director of American Heritage Girls, (AHG, www.AmericanHeritageGirls.org), a national Christ-centered leadership and character development program. For nearly three decades, AHG has been at the forefront of countering the culture by leading girls and women to creating lives of integrity. Patti is the author of Why Curse the Darkness When You Can Light A Candle?, a story of trust and obedience to inspire those who desire to make Kingdom impact yet struggle with the fear of inadequacy.
