Merry, Bright or Blue? Grief, Pain and Mental Illness During the Christmas Season

Merry and bright — that's what Christmas is supposed to feel like.

By Tim Clinton, Op-Ed Contributor Sunday, December 24, 2017

Merry and bright — that's what Christmas is supposed to feel like.

Sometimes, though, the most wonderful time of the year can be anything but.

Those who fight a daily battle with grief, loneliness or depression can become disappointed — even angry with themselves — when the holidays bring no relief. Others may find themselves facing a new or previously dormant battle with anxiety, emptiness or loss as the expectations and busyness of the season can pile up emotional stress and spark relational strife. For those who lost a loved one around the holiday season, or since last Christmas, the traditions that once brought joy can now bring pain.

And here's what's most tragic: many people will likely trudge through the season without seeking help or realizing that they are far from alone.

In fact, mental health problems like anxiety disorders and depression affect nearly one-in- five American adults. The symptoms that accompany these struggles rarely subside on their own and can often worsen, raising the likelihood of further health or psychiatric difficulties, if left untreated.

Holidays can be an especially challenging time for people who have lost loved ones. According to a recent research study on the church and suicide, co-sponsored by the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), 32 percent of Protestant churchgoers have lost a loved one to suicide. The holidays, which emphasize family and togetherness, can be devastating if your family has fallen apart.

Let me bring you tidings of great joy. Christian counselors stand ready to help. Thousands of them maintain professional practices all over the country. Many churches have staff who have years of experience as licensed professional counselors or lay caregivers who have completed certified training specifically to provide caring support.

So, if your grief is heavy on your heart this holiday season or if you know your fake smile is a decoy so out-of-town family won't notice how empty you feel inside — don't shrug it off! Take notice of the ways your mind and body are asking for help. Then find it.

I have spent my career helping the hurting find freedom and making sure counselors have the tools they need. The AACC has empowered Christians in the mental health field by connecting them to cutting edge research and training. Just recently we hosted a webinar on combating the opioid crisis. Attendees of our conferences hear from experts in the field, like prominent psychiatrists Drs. Daniel Amen and Dan Siegel, both widely recognized as pioneers in neuroscience.

Skilled Christian counselors are highly trained. They care deeply about the well-being of your body, mind and soul, and will dedicate themselves to walking with you through the mire to reach healing. These professionals bring science and spirituality together while remaining on the leading edge of research at the intersection of faith and mental health. These are the type of professionals we seek to connect you with in our Christian Counseling Connection resource.

Resolve to take the steps that could drastically change your life for the better. That way, next time it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, you'll be able to celebrate the holidays with refreshed joy and wonder at God's gift to mankind — peace.

Tim Clinton, Ed. D., LPC, LMFT is President of the nearly 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors, the largest and most diverse Christian counseling association in the world. The author of over 30 books, he is professor of counseling and pastoral care and executive director of the James C. Dobson Center for Child Development, Marriage and Family Studies at Liberty University. Follow him @DrTimClinton.