Sexual fidelity is at the heart of a thriving culture
When it comes to culture’s slide concerning where it stands on the spectrum regarding respect and preservation of the institution of marriage and romance, consider the story of Marcus Porcius Cato, the ancient Roman soldier, senator, and historian also known as “Cato the Elder.”
It was sometime in the 2nd century B.C. when Cato expelled from the Roman Senate a politician who kissed his wife in public within the gaze of their grown daughter. Plutarch, a Greek philosopher, condemned the display of affection as being “disgraceful.”
One need not wonder what Cato the Elder would think of today’s openly sexual and increasingly pornographic society, not to mention the rise in polyamory — the practice of having multiple sexual partners, all in full view.
Get Our Latest News for FREE
Once relegated to whispers and a small minority of people, researchers at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University recently announced that 22% of Americans admit to pursuing so-called “consensual non-monogamy” — an umbrella term that covers all types of sexual deviance.
Until recently, such a claim would have struck me as implausible — until I crossed paths with a pastor who alluded to a disturbing trend he was dealing with in his own church.
Without sharing any names or details, this heavy-hearted gentleman confided that young married couples were engaging in sexual relations within the same room as other young married couples who were likewise engaged. Apparently, it’s something of a growing phenomenon, a twisted and distorted violation of the sacred marriage bed.
If this is all happening within a Christian community ostensibly bound and guided by the Bible, its escalating prevalence can’t be doubted.
To be sure, sexual promiscuity is not new, but its frequency and public acceptance have skyrocketed. The proliferation and accessibility of pornography have accelerated it. Pornography plants ideas, raise expectations, and then only disappoints and destroys. The decrease of a Christian worldview, the pastor’s story notwithstanding, has only poured gasoline on the fire.
My friend Dr. Robert George of Princeton University has been warning about this coming trend for years. Consider what he said almost ten years ago:
“If non-monogamy is normalized, it will become increasingly difficult for a husband or wife to resist a request from their spouse to open their marriage to other sexual partners. The expectation of marital fidelity could come to be seen as clingy or possessive — the sort of thing that someone should go to therapy for. The pressure will be on the spouse resisting non-monogamy (more often wives than husbands) to ‘get over’ their hang-ups and allow more sexual experimentation for the ‘good’ of the marriage.”
Dr. George’s astuteness is bearing out. Addressing this trend in a recent Wall Street Journal, advocates for polyamory admit there are downsides to it, but none of the qualms are moral in nature. Instead, they claim the biggest hurdles include a lack of legal recognition, communication, and time-management issues.
The Journal quotes Kitty Chambliss, a so-called relationship coach (and someone who practices polyamory) who “helps” others navigate this dysfunctional and dangerous world. She said the connection and “sense of family” far outweigh the challenges.
Sexual fidelity is not only at the foundation of a healthy, God-ordained marriage but also at the heart of a thriving society. It’s not coincidental that as marriage has weakened, redefined, and corrupted, culture has collapsed.
Jim Daly is president of Focus on the Family and host of the daily "Focus on the Family" broadcast heard by more than 6.3 million listeners per week on more than 1,000 radio stations across the U.S.
