The beauty of the Creator reflected in our children with Down syndrome
When Amber and her husband Justin adopted Ava, they instantly fell in love with her. Amber realized God had a bigger plan for her family than she could ever imagine, and she felt His perfect grace wash over her. They soon made the decision to grow their family by adopting again through Bethany Christian Services — little did they know how much more their world would change.
Peyton flatlined for 3-minutes when he was born in 2019, and until he entered the world, doctors were unaware he had Down syndrome. He was transferred to a hospital in Orlando at 6-days-old because he was so sick, and while medical staff didn’t think he would survive, God had a different plan.
Amber was recovering from a hysterectomy in the same hospital on the same floor as her soon-to-be son when they received a call that Peyton was ready to join their family. Not only did his birth mother make the courageous but often heartbreaking decision to choose adoption, she stayed with him for three days and nights in the hospital so Amber could recover until they were able to bring him home.
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Over 1,000 miles away in Iowa, Kayla and her husband, Jonny, had a similar experience as they provided a family for a child in need. In 2015, while she was four months pregnant with their third son, Abram, Kayla received a phone call that a baby girl with Down syndrome needed a family. They had just 24 hours to decide about adopting her. During that time, they sought out other parents who had adopted children with Down syndrome and heard a resounding “yes” through their conversations. Today, Eliza uses a wheelchair and nonverbal communication to interact with the world around her.
Every day we recommit ourselves to nurturing and protecting them and affirming their worth so they can grow fully into the perfect plan God has for them.
Supporting families means long-term investment
It’s important to remember the importance of long-term support for families adopting children who have disabilities. The age-old saying that “it takes a village to raise a child” is especially true for families with a special needs children and is crucial for the rest of these children’s lives. In both of our journeys, we have seen that it takes our entire church community and extended family walking together. They celebrate with us as our kids reach new milestones — like turning on toys or recognizing new sounds — and grieve with us during challenging seasons.
Families have shown generosity through financial support and others have faithfully prayed and spoken encouragement over us. With every medical need, our communities have stepped up with a plan to support us and have checked in to see how we are doing. This embrace from family, friends, and the Church has pulled us through some of our toughest days and made moments of celebration even more joyful.
It’s okay to feel unprepared
If you’re considering adopting a child with Down syndrome, it’s okay to feel unprepared: you will learn as you go. Neither of us were experts when our families began this journey, but we found that listening to others and hearing their stories made us feel like we were not alone. The Down syndrome community has rapidly grown over the last decade and we strongly encourage you to connect with other mothers or fathers who have children with confirmed diagnoses. We’re grateful for the honest, vulnerable, and transparent conversations surrounding adopting children who have disabilities, and we pray these conversations will continue to bring peace to families making the decision to pursue this path.
Every child is innately sacred, knit together perfectly to reflect the Creator and to make stronger the body of Christ. As James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Peyton and Eliza have already overcome tremendous hurdles in the short time they have been on earth and while we know they face challenges ahead that their siblings will never encounter, we find hope that God is with us every part of the journey.
Through Peyton and Eliza’s joy, we see a small glimpse of the beauty that awaits us in eternity. They have taught us more about love, joy, and grace than we could have imagined, and when we look into their faces, we see the face of God. That is our precious gift as their mothers.
Amber Pressly is a special education teacher in Florida and has two children, Peyton and Ava.
Kayla Craig is a writer in Iowa and author of the book To Light Their Way: A Collection of Prayers & Liturgies for Parents. She has four children: Joseph, Asher, Eliza, and Abram.
