Unlocking this will make your marriage stronger

By Troy Gramling, Op-ed contributor Monday, February 12, 2024

In an era where everyone seems more interconnected than ever, the paradox of loneliness persists. In fact, CNN recently published an article pointing to “the loneliness epidemic,” noting that nearly one in four adults in the world feel lonely. What’s more, CNBC highlighted that nearly 90% of the world’s population now live in countries with failing marriage rates. In the United States, the marriage rate has dropped by nearly 60% over the last 50 years.

Surprisingly, despite declining marriage rates, recent studies reveal that a vast majority of single adults still have the desire to tie the knot. These statistics highlight a dominant issue infiltrating our society. Despite the unprecedented accessibility afforded by new technology and social media, our reality is one of heightened disconnection, surpassing any previous levels.

One significant contributor to this disconnection is the influence of social media. Social media, while a powerful tool for communication, often acts as a silent force driving individuals apart. The nature of comparison on these platforms casts a shadow over the authenticity of connections, forcing individuals into a constant state of evaluation against curated online narratives. This constant comparison fosters a culture where genuine connections take a backseat to the allure of projecting a perfect life. Furthermore, these platforms serve as a potent distraction, drawing attention away from the crucial interactions that nourish relationships. The constant stream of notifications, likes, and scrolling through virtual worlds can divert our focus from the present, creating an atmosphere where real-time, meaningful connections become casualties of the digital age.

Social media is not the lone adversary, additional challenges stem from prevailing modern assumptions about marriage. Contemporary culture promotes the concept of a soulmate, emphasizing spouses are meant to facilitate each other’s personal growth. These modern assumptions veer away from the enduring principles that underpin robust and enduring marriages, focusing instead on the elevation of self above all.

In the current cultural landscape, we find ourselves immersed in a society that promotes self-focused pursuits, urging individuals to relentlessly strive to get ahead. This unbridled pursuit of personal success and fulfillment, however, has obscured the profound beauty found only in marriage. In our relentless search for personal achievement, we risk overlooking the transformative power of the marital bond, where two individuals unite with a purpose greater than themselves.

Contrary to contemporary beliefs, the divine intent behind marriage is not self-gratification but the glorification of the Savior. It is essential to safeguard the sacred institution of marriage from secular values that might compromise its sanctity. A marriage, according to God’s purpose, should be a living picture of spiritual truth, pointing a watching world toward the unfailing, sacrificial love of Jesus. A true understanding of the powerful potential of marriage allows couples to cultivate stronger marriages, fortify families, and contribute to the strength of their communities.

Christian marriages should display the love of God in a world unfamiliar with His grace, becoming lighthouses that guide others toward Him. This perspective should encourage couples to maximize their married life for shared ministry, understanding that marriage is not just a union between two individuals, but a powerful force that benefits society in unique ways. In a culture focused on fortifying the future of self, strong marriages are focused on fortifying the future of others. Thus, strong marriages are the cornerstone of thriving communities.

Marriage, at its core, is a commitment to a shared journey, a promise to navigate the complexities of life together, and a realization that the sum of the two is far greater than the individual parts. In reorienting our perspective from self-centered aspirations to the collective purpose embedded in marriage, we rediscover the richness of a union where the “I” becomes “we,” and the shared pursuit of a greater purpose surpasses the allure of individualistic endeavors.

A marriage grounded in faith is a resilient force, weathering the storms of life and growing stronger with each surpassing challenge. In doing so, couples can fulfill not only their personal potential, but also contribute to a society enriched by the enduring values of commitment, love, and shared purpose. This shift from a culture focused on self to one rooted in the collective strength of marriage illuminates the path towards building a future where enduring relationships serve as the bedrock for thriving families and, consequently, a flourishing society.

Troy Gramling, a dedicated and inspirational spiritual leader, has led Potential Church for over two decades, overseeing its remarkable growth into a vibrant congregation of over 20,000 members, with a far-reaching presence spanning the United States and Latin America. Pastor Troy, with his devoted wife, Stephanie, and their loving family, has made Cooper City their home, where the family is actively involved in the ministry of Potential Church.