Ask Chuck: What about friendship and business growth?
Dear Chuck,
I’m a small business owner concerned about the decline in real friendships. My business is built on them, but most of my young staff think social media is enough. Have you ever written about friendships and business growth? If so, where?
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Friends Are Priceless
Dear Friends Are Priceless,
What a great topic! I have never written about this but totally understand your concern and correlation to business. I have asked my staff to do some research on your questions.
While friendships are personal and often a challenge to realistically quantify, we are witnessing some of the harmful effects in our society of mandatory COVID isolation, remote schooling, and work-from-home situations. Plus, for some, technology has become a substitute for human relationships. As a result, many do not know what they are missing.
Friendships are a blessing from God that enriches our lives. They bring happiness, wisdom, encouragement, and laughter while stretching us to be our best. They comfort us during stressful times and bolster us with courage when fear threatens peace. They add a level of accountability and discipleship to our lives. I have always said that my true friends multiply my joy and divide my sorrow.
God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’
God, our Creator, knew that we needed companionship. We are designed to live in fellowship with Him, our spouse, our family, and each other. These relationships are the source of our true niches, which are all the things money cannot buy.
The number of friends is less important than the quality of friends. Research shows that the average person has three to five very close friends, 10 to 15 people in their circle, and 100 to 150 acquaintances in their social network. Close friends are those you can trust with anything and vice versa. For believers, these relationships will make you a better person. They are those who willingly speak truth into your life and expect the same of you; they are those with whom you can be completely transparent without the worry that they will reject you.
Science-backed benefits of quality friendships
- Make you healthier.
- Make you happier.
- Make you feel safe.
- Strengthen immunity.
- Improve mental health.
- Are associated with a longer life.
- Linked to financial strength.
Expert tips for making friends
Tracey Brower PhD: “Make strategic investments of your time to enhance your sense of belonging. When you reach out to initiate activities, open up and also support others, you’ll achieve terrific friendships and fulfillment — leading to experiences of closeness and wellbeing.”
Marisa G. Franco Ph.D.: “When you assume people like you, you are friendlier, and the more they really will like you. Affirm, compliment, and praise others for what you appreciate about them or something they said. It wins friends.”
Jane Story at The Gospel Coalition: “We all want to be known and loved … Initiate and respond. Listen and ask questions … Move toward difficult things … The real secret sauce of the deepest relationships is their endurance through tough things … You’ve got to lean in … even if you have no words to say ... It’s more important to show up and feel uncertain than it is to be perfect … It is because we are already loved and secure that we can offer friendship to others. Extend the love of Christ to those around you. Lifelong friends will appear.”
If you desire to get to know someone better, invite them to:
- Run errands with you.
- Walk or work out.
- Volunteer with you.
- Attend a community event, museum, arboretum, lecture, etc.
- Have coffee with the goal of getting below the surface.
- Attend a small group or Sunday School class with you.
- Shop and share bulk products.
Financial benefit of friendships
Social skills are a key determinant of wealth because they are necessary to effectively interact with people. There’s a saying, “Your network is your net worth.” Friends impact our financial health in a number of ways: when seeking employment or a career change, for counsel about handling money or running a business, and to connect to a broader network of individuals. They pray with and for us, encourage us, sharpen us, lend a helping hand, and strengthen us. You never know how a friend of a friend can help in time of need.
What the Bible says about friendships
One of the greatest examples of friendship we read about in the Bible is between David and Jonathan. 1 Samuel 18:1 says that “the soul of Jonathan (the son of Saul) was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (ESV, parentheses mine).
John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (ESV).
Proverbs 17:17: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (ESV).
Proverbs 27:9: “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (ESV).
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him — a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (ESV).
Luke 6:31: “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them” (ESV).
Proverbs 18:24: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (NKJ).
Proverbs 18:1: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (ESV).
Proverbs 22:24–25: “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man,lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare” (ESV).
Thank you for the great question. I hope you will share this with your staff too.
I’d like to invite you to join a free Crown Bible study on the YouVersion app. We have several devotionals regarding money and stewardship that will provide encouragement by bringing God’s Word into your daily life.
Chuck Bentley is CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, a global Christian ministry, founded by the late Larry Burkett. He is the host of a daily radio broadcast, My MoneyLife, featured on more than 1,000 Christian Music and Talk stations in the U.S., and author of his most recent book, Economic Evidence for God?. Be sure to follow Crown on Facebook.
