Christians Must Stop Tolerating Others!
If one were to conduct a poll of America today and ask if Christians are a tolerant bunch, chances are the answer will be a resounding "no."
In a way, this is a very good thing! In fact, I feel strongly that Christians must stop tolerating others altogether. Here's why.
The dictionary defines tolerance as: allowing something that one may not approve, or having the ability or willingness to put up with opinions or behavior that one dislikes or disagrees with.
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Notice, there is a pointed negativity here: to be tolerant of another is to say, "I don't approve of you! I don't agree with you, but I'll put up with you because I'm tolerant."
Would you want to be on the receiving end of this sentiment? We must ask ourselves, is this a good thing? Is it good to be tolerant?
The answer is no. People who feel tolerated feel ugly, marginalized and devalued. A tolerated person assumes things, false things, about themselves and others. A tolerated person is backed into a corner—a silo with other people who feel the same way—people that probably look like them and share the same culture. Tolerated people dig their heels into their respective social spaces only to emerge when they too have to be tolerant in order to transact business or other necessities.
Tolerance creates a difficult life all the way around because it is so negative and destructive. At its core, it wreaks of self-love. Self-love is negative and destructive simply because it focuses on one's own value, preferences and desires above others. It conveys that you love yourself more than you love your neighbor. When self-love is present, it easily overlooks the ability to love others, especially those who don't look like you, believe what you believe, or even speak your language of preference—English.
Tolerance is particularly hurtful in a religious setting. A church is supposed to be a safe space—a place where you can unburden your soul from the contamination of the world and find solace, peace, and a deeper connection with God. It's not a place where you go to get abused, devalued, or simply tolerated. It is a place where you go to be understood and to find acceptance.
Because it is just plain wrong to be intolerant, and now we know that Christians can no longer be tolerant, what else is there?
The solution is that Christians must accommodate others. To accommodate means that you must value and accept the other person, and thus, the other person will feel valued, accepted and far more likely to desire to establish a healthy relationship with you. Accommodation says, "You matter to me. I want you in my life, so I will make room for our differences." Accommodation creates an environment of belonging because it allows for our racial, cultural, ethnic and even political differences. Accommodation is not a static position. It breathes, it lives, and it speaks.
Tolerance reflects judgment while accommodation exhibits grace. Judgment says you must change to be accepted. Grace says I accept you the way you are. Tolerance focuses inwardly on my awkward feelings about you, how I don't like the way you are, the way you act, the way you look, etc. Accommodation focuses outwardly on others. It wants to know others are doing well, have equal value, and are accepted. After all that is the actual meaning of the word love in the original Greek language in which the New Testament was written. This specific kind of love means a selfless love—a love that puts self aside in an effort to help and bless others.
Tolerance reflects impatience in the relationship while accommodation reflects patience.
Tolerance says, "I really don't want a relationship with you." Accommodation says, "I want a relationship with you. I want you in my life." Tolerance reflects the old life—the life before salvation, where self is on the throne. Accommodation shows the new life—the life after salvation, where Christ is on the throne. Tolerance divides while accommodation unites. Tolerance is racially unattractive, but accommodation is racially attractive.
However, it's important to note that accommodation does not equate to approval. This is what we Christians really need to learn and model. Although Jesus challenged us to love our neighbors as ourselves, he was not commanding us to approve of our neighbors' choices, values, or actions. He was charging us to be accommodating of our neighbor by making room in our hearts for their right to equal expression. This is the polar opposite of tolerance.
Christians must stop being tolerant of others! Instead, we should strive to live a life of accommodation. That kind of life will always prove attractive across racial and cultural lines.
