How to avoid political turmoil with your relatives this Thanksgiving
After every presidential election in our nation, millions of Americans are elated, while millions of others are dejected. And this year of course is no different.
A politically divided nation ensures that many extended families will likely face some contentious conversations this Thanksgiving. But it doesn't have to play out that way with your family. Imagine experiencing tremendous unity this Thanksgiving, in spite of any political differences that may exist in your family.
While you cannot control the decisions your relatives make, you can certainly do your part to avoid political turmoil and contentiousness. Pray that your family members will be accepting of one another this Thanksgiving, and that everyone will hold their tongue if tempted to gloat over the election results or to become contentious.
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Once everyone has arrived on Thanksgiving, perhaps someone could begin your festivities by offering the following prayers for the family: 1. Give thanks to God for all His blessings; 2. Ask God to bless the food you will enjoy that day; 3. Ask God to bless all the conversations.
Christian missionary Elisabeth Elliot (1926-2015) said, “Prayer lays hold of God's plan and becomes the link between His will and its accomplishment on Earth.” And the Scottish evangelist and teacher Oswald Chambers (1874-1917) wrote, “God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.”
“God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Cor. 14:33). And this is why the Holy Spirit will lead and empower followers of Christ to promote peace and order this Thanksgiving. After all, what good can come from a divisive and chaotic family gathering that spins out of control?
In addition to prayer, we can put Romans 14:19 into practice: “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” That is to say, be intentional about avoiding political confrontations this Thanksgiving. Make every effort to build one another up with words of encouragement.
Come up with some topics to discuss on Thanksgiving that everyone will enjoy. Visit about one another's interests, while avoiding political controversy. Family members who are agitated over the election results will likely already be on edge when they walk through the door. Followers of Christ should avoid topics that might trigger a loved one to become upset.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died” (Romans 14:15). The same thing applies to any political comments you might be tempted to make this Thanksgiving. If a relative becomes distressed because you are rubbing the election results in their face, you are no longer acting in love.
Paul wrote, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Friendly and loving conversations tend to unite, whereas political combativeness only divides.
Do you have some topics in mind to discuss this Thanksgiving? Make a list of some non-political issues that are important to your relatives. Visit about things that provide hope. “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4).
If someone throws a political grenade into the middle of your Thanksgiving celebration, maintain self-control. And if anyone expresses anger or intense animosity, remember this biblical principle: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:4). God will help you exhibit gentleness, even in the face of aggression.
Always remember: “Love is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5). This is exactly how God loves His children whose sins are forgiven through faith in Jesus. If you are keeping a record of wrongs committed against you by any of your relatives, Thanksgiving is a perfect time to let go of grudges as you choose to “forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers...” (Matthew 5:9). Will you choose to be a peacemaker this Thanksgiving, even if someone attempts to pick a political fight? The Holy Spirit will give you the self-control necessary to hold your tongue while responding to any sarcastic comments with tenderness and compassion.
David made a particular request of the Lord that you can use in your personal prayers. “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil” (Psalm 141:3-4). Regardless of what others choose to say, you can respond with sensitivity and empathy.
Jesus gave His life on the cross so that we could be reconciled to our Father in Heaven, and then do our best to be reconciled to others in Jesus' name. The Bible instructs us: “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).
In other words, if we refuse to live in peace with others, we are refusing to live in peace with God. Followers of Christ are “a new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17). You can love your family this Thanksgiving by speaking kind words, as well as by keeping certain thoughts to yourself. Silence is golden.
There are of course times when the Holy Spirit leads followers of Christ to visit privately with a relative about a delicate matter that needs to be addressed. In those situations, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).
Jesus said, “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). If you celebrate Thanksgiving prayerfully and with the right mindset, your kindness will honor the Lord and be a huge blessing to your family.
Dan Delzell is the pastor of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Papillion, Nebraska.
