New year for Christian singles: Dating and finding 'spirit mate'
The start of a new year is like opening a brand-new journal — full of blank pages and endless possibilities. For many Christian singles, those pages are filled with hopes and prayers for finding a life partner. Not just any partner, but a spirit mate — someone who shares your faith and walks beside you as you both pursue God’s purpose for your lives.
If you’ve stepped into this year still waiting, let me speak some truth into your heart: God’s plans are always good, His promises are trustworthy, and His timing? Flawless (Jeremiah 29:11, Ecclesiastes 3:1). But here’s the thing: sometimes we need to stop working against Him when it comes to our love lives.
As a relationship expert who’s coached and mentored marriage-minded singles from all walks of life, I’ve seen how easy it is for singles to short-circuit their own love stories. Whether it’s overspiritualizing relationships, partnering with fear, or asking Jesus to “take the wheel” while sitting back and doing nothing, it’s time for a different way. God’s writing your love story, but He’s inviting you to participate in it too.
Get Our Latest News for FREE
Trusting God’s preparation
The preparation season isn’t wasted time. This season is an opportunity to deepen your relationship with Christ, grow in purpose, and develop the character traits needed for marriage.
Marriage is wonderful, but it’s not the ultimate goal. If I had believed it was the finish line, my life would have completely fallen apart when my first marriage ended in disaster. At 20, I was married and broken. I didn’t know Jesus, and my upbringing was far from stable. At 22, I met Jesus, and He began redeeming my story, leading me on a journey of healing and preparation. He brought my now-husband into my life. We’ve now been married for 17 years, and our marriage has been a testimony of His faithfulness.
Having experienced the good, bad, and ugly of relationships, I’m passionate about helping others get ready for the love they’ve been praying to receive. I want to see singles get healthy, date with intention and boundaries (not like the way modern culture encourages), and build thriving lifelong covenant marriages.
Marriage isn’t a fairytale — it's hard work! It’s a partnership that requires wisdom, grace, and a solid foundation. That’s why the preparation season matters. It’s in this season that God shapes us into who we’re meant to be, not just for marriage, but for all of his greater purposes for our lives.
Redefining purity culture
For many singles, the wait for love has been complicated by the baggage of purity culture. While well-meaning, some of its teachings left deep wounds, confusion about dating, and distorted views of self-worth. Let’s be clear: we are called to purity in our lives and relationships, and God’s best for us is to refrain from sexual sin. Let’s also acknowledge that spending time with someone, holding hands, or even kissing before marriage is not a biblical sin.
Here’s what I often share with singles who are recovering from an overly rigid purity framework:
- God’s not a slot machine
God doesn’t “owe” you a spouse because you followed all the rules. Faithfulness is about a relationship with God, not a transactional reward system. - Dating isn’t the devil’s playground
Getting to know someone through dating isn’t sinful — it’s necessary. You can’t build relationship skills without practice. Healthy, intentional dating is a tool for discernment, not a danger zone. - Shame isn’t holy
Your worth isn’t tied to your past, your relationship status, or how perfectly you’ve lived out a purity checklist. Romans 8:1 reminds us, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That includes your love life.
Practical steps toward love
Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” While trusting God to guide you, remember that faith without action is dead (James 2:17). Here are some practical tips to move towards love:
- Do the heart work: Heal from past wounds, let go of bitterness, and embrace forgiveness. Healthy relationships are built by healthy people, and the inner work you do now will make a world of difference later.
- Step out in Faith: Stop waiting for perfection and start pursuing possibility. Love isn’t about finding “The One” — it’s about building something meaningful with someone who shares your values and is committed to growth.
- Create opportunities: Be intentional about meeting new people. Join a small group, attend events, or even try a dating app (with discernment). God often uses our steps to open doors.
Faith in action: A success story
One of my greatest joys is seeing singles experience breakthroughs in their love lives. I’ve seen so many real-life “happily-ever-afters” that I could start a Hallmark documentary series.
Take Elisabeth, for example: “I was stuck in the waiting room, convinced that if I just waited long enough, God would drop the perfect person into my life. Then I realized I was waiting for a guy that wasn’t coming. Joining Last Year Single helped me step out, get clear on what I wanted, and actually take action. Within months, I met my future spouse. Now, we’re married, and I’m living proof that God works when you get up and work too!”
This beautifully reflects Proverbs 16:3: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” God has already laid the foundation — marriage is His idea. Now it’s our turn to step out in faith, leave the waiting room, and show up.
If you’re feeling stuck, I’d love to help you take those next steps. That’s why I created the Last Year Single Challenge, a free 3-day challenge to help singles move forward with clarity and purpose. It’s my way of walking with you as you commit your steps to the Lord and take action. Because when you show up in faith, God shows up in ways you never expected.
A New Year’s prayer for singles
Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Maybe last year felt like a wilderness, but God specializes in bringing new life to dry places.
This could be the year your prayers are answered — or it could be another year of preparation. Either way, trust that God’s process is perfect, and His love story for your life is worth every step of the journey.
As you step into this new year, pray this over your love life:
“Lord, I trust You with my heart, my desires, and my future. I surrender my timeline to You and ask that You prepare me for the partner You have for me. Teach me patience, strengthen my faith, and remind me that Your plans are for my good. I trust You to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ask or imagine. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
May this year be marked by hope, action, and faith in the One who holds your future. Whether you meet your spirit mate this year or not, know that God’s plans for you are good — and His love story for your life is worth the journey.
Jackie Dorman is a relationship expert, professional matchmaker, and bestselling author of Married in 12 Months or Less and The Heart Work. Jackie has inspired millions of listeners with her practical, faith-based insights on love and relationships as a regular contributor on Keep the Faith Christian Radio. Her online program, “Last Year Single,” has helped thousands of singles find love and marriage. Learn more about Jackie at www.jackiedorman.com.
